just had the longest convo with ex dh, in two yrs, he is insisting on just coming round to see dd without me telling her(2 Posts)
God, and it wouldbe the night i have downed half a bottle of red. The convo started becuase dd answered my mobile, she saw it was him , and quite surprisingly, to me, answered. So it seemed like she wanted to speak to him, but then she pased it to me.
He asekd her wether he could come and seeher next week, she said maybe.
He asekd to speak to me, and as i was talking to him, she was bounding back and forth, yelling at him ,saying al the thigns she says to me about him, 'your a horrible dad, you don't deserveme' etc..
I said that i didn't feel comfortable with him just appearing here, that we werein therapy right now, and that the counsellor has said that I listen to dd and whta she wants.
I asked him about how did our dd know about how to roll a spliff, and he swore, quite convincingly that he has not smoked for yrs, so i said well how does she know about making joints. Again he said he didn't know. He got rather hooked on that point, and i kept saying well aprt form that, you have done nothing to show her she is important toyou, you brought your gf's child with you, the one time you had contact with her last xmas. He then said, but you don't understand, she has to fit in with my life, to which i said, 'look i gave been trying to make you understand that there should be a special time for her and you for yrs' and you don't get it. The way her lif eis now, in how she feels about you is your doing, you fault.
he said 'so what are you saying them, that i never get to semy dd again?'
i said. i have no answers.
Isaid that the last time you said you would come you let her down, you should not have promised something if you had the tiniest idea you wuold not actually be able to make it, i said are you really listening to this, to her, are you really understanding what effect the half witted crao has on her? ( ididn't actually say that out loud to him}
I am confused, he seems to have made a desperate grab at all this, justbecuase she actually spoke to him. It has seemed like he likes using the excuse that she doiesn't want to see him , as a wya not to bother too much.
iam dreading bedtime, she is wired now.
i just didn't sleep last night. his words kept going round and round. i just hate this, life is much easier to handle if i don't have to speak to him.
In a way him notbothering with dd has become easier iyswim, no conflicts.
dd slept ok. we had big talks, lots of shouting by her, then she just seemed to let it go.
i thik she is earning to dealwith her feelings better, and was certianly not backward in coming forward in shouting at him whislt he was on the phone to me. it must be a release for her, to know he was listening.
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