I try to be amicable with both of them- we are on speaking terms, dd spends alot of time there- about a third of her time, and gf even looks after dd when exp is at work. I feel so upset thoughm because I was really looking forward to it- even have a voucher for the shop I wanted to buy them in- and exp knew that. I asked him why I was left out of something like that- and he said he didn't even know gf was going to do it- it was 'spur of the moment' etc.
I sent her a text, politely asking her if to remember that while I appreciate the time she spends with DD, I am her mummy, and as suchm deserve to be involved in such little milestones, and would she please run things past me if she isnt sure in the future.
Did I do the right thing or have I over reacted? I always feel so unnerved every time I have a disagreement with them- I rely on them alot- but at the same always feel worried that they are trying to push me out of the picture.
Trying to see it from her side I cannot see any justification that she could put forward that would make it ok for her to have done that without consulting you/your ExP. (I'm interpreting it that he wasn't there either?)
I think anyone with more than one braincell would see that it's obvious that the mother/father would want to be involved in purchasing a child's 'first' pair of shoes?!
However, the only thing I can say to defend her - maybe - is that this was not necessarily a ploy to 'push you out'. I expect it's more that she dotes on your DD and was too caught up in the excitement to realise she was over-stepping the mark.