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Does anyone else have a really short fuse? I am so embarrassed by my outburst in the airport-I still feel bad 2 days later!

(15 Posts)
Dreadfulwoman Tue 26-Aug-08 10:57:37

I have always been very short fused, and can control it most of the time at home with dd, as a I go and have 5 mins and cool down. We came home from a (very bad) holiday on Sun - I was reeling as we had been pickpocketed, ripped off to the tune of 200 euros over the course of the holiday, and was really worrying about our finances for the next few months, and we also have a huge possible relocation worry that is really eating me up. Dd's behaviour throughout the holiday had been dreadful - I wanted to come home halfway through as I couldn't take it any more.

So anyway, we were on a (Ryanair actually!) flight, and the generator's didn't work on the plane, so we were sat on the tarmac for two hours with our handluggage stowed as "we could be setting off in 5 mins" so dd was bored stupid and being quite difficult as she is not a happy flier. We have a 3 hour flight, finally make it in to the airport.

Went into Boots to buy some wipes and dd was asking for nail polish and lipstick. I kept saying no and kept asking her to put it back, our luggage had set the door alarms off (I'm stuck with two suitcases, a trunki, my handluggage, a handful of stuff we don't need but I'm panic buying, a woman trying to take the stuff at the check out, a dd that is trying to run out of the door with cosmetics and at the same time screaming blue murder, and a swarm of people that won't let me past with all this stuff to get to the till, and another store woman trying to tell me something about leaving baggage unattended and store alarms. Dd tries to hand the cosmetics to the till lady, I say no again, she screams again, the store lady tries to put them through I say I don't want them, the till lady tells me that I am being a bit unfair (I am not buying bourjois make up for a 4 year old!), dd smacks me as hard as she can around the legs and I turn round and smack her. I have never smacked her in my life - I was mortified! I don't know what to do. I feel dreadful, but the child will not stop hitting, biting and kicking me, not matter how many time outs or punishments she has, she still does it. I can't believe I've been trying to stop her doing it and then did the same to her.

I never want to do this again, what can I do to be a better mum? If I am in our normal environment I can deal with her, but the second we are somewhere new and stressful I can't bear it and get this awful anger and panic and turn into monster mum and shout and rant and drag her along by her arm and all sorts. I am so ashamed of myself.

pgwithnumber3 Tue 26-Aug-08 11:02:37

I wouldn't worry about it too much, we all do things in a black out moment, it sounds like you were that stressed you flipped.

When I was og with DD2, DD1 smacked me, I am very much anti-smacking but before I knew it, I smacked her back on the legs, I took her to Nursery and burst in to tears! The Manager had to sit with me to calm me down.

I can be the most loveliest, wonderful mother in the world but just every now and again, DD1 will test my patience to the limit and it is like a red mist has hit. We all have limits.

We all do things that we regret and ponder over, just shrug it off and learn from it. Your DD will have forgotten about it 10 mins later.

pgwithnumber3 Tue 26-Aug-08 11:03:01

That should read pg with DD2.

Buda Tue 26-Aug-08 11:06:24

Oh Gd - it sounds horrendous! No wonder you snapped.

The Boots woman was seriously out of order though. She should have said "Maybe Mummy doesn't have the money today love but will get you some another day" and tried to help diffuse the situation.

Please don't feel too bad. we have all snapped at some time or another. I know I certainly have.

Dreadfulwoman Tue 26-Aug-08 11:06:40

Thank you so much pg (and congratulations-am so jealous!!!!).

I just felt so dreadful, I was walking around the airport sobbing my heart out! However, when we got home she did say "if I hit you do you hit me? So if I don't hit you you won't hit me?" Which made me feel like a child abuser, but at the same time may have solved the problem!!

Dreadfulwoman Tue 26-Aug-08 11:08:39

And thank you Buda. She sounds like a spoilt monster reading that back blush. She's a poppet, but because she's a poppet her monster bits are so spontaneous I struggle to stay calm.

ginnny Tue 26-Aug-08 11:09:22

I did the same on holiday DW. Ds2 was a little horror one day (probably overtired), it was hot, I was stressed. He wanted something, I said no, he started whining and I still said no then he smacked me hard on my (very sunburnt) back. I turned round instinctively and smacked his leg blush
I was horrified and cried more than he did!!
Afterwards I couldn't justify why I did it ("I smacked you because you smacked me" hmm) so I said sorry to him.
They do push you to the limit and while I know its not right to smack them, you are not the only Mum to have lost it.
And you are not a 'dreadful woman', just a normal Mum trying her best.
Don't be so hard on yourself, its a tough job some days.

callmeovercautious Tue 26-Aug-08 11:12:07

Please don't feel too bad. It was an extreme circumstance by the sound of it. And tbh from what she said to you it has made her think about her own behaviour.

Dreadfulwoman Tue 26-Aug-08 11:12:21

Thank you all so much. It will have to be marked down as a massive learning experience for both of us (and I am so glad other people's children have hit them, I always thought it was something I had done wrong in the disciplinary process that made her do it as no one admits to it happening!)

ginnny Tue 26-Aug-08 11:42:03

I just remembered it happened with ds1 too when he went through his biting phase blush
Its not your fault - it's just something we all go through.
It does get easier as they get older (I hope!)

Tinkerbel6 Tue 26-Aug-08 11:56:14

DW its perfectly normal, I saw my friend's dd throw a massibe tantrum in a supermarket so it don't just happen to 2 year olds, it is hard travelling with a child on your own especially when there are delays, I have done it myself and you have to keep your eye on your child aswell as watch your luggage, concentrate on buying what you need awell as listening to any announcements

Tinkerbel6 Tue 26-Aug-08 11:58:41

Regarding the tantrum and hitting it could be an age things aswell, my friend's 4 year old is doing it a lot lately but then my friend does smack her, don't feel guilty about it as i'm sure that next time you go away your daughter will be a little bit older and you will be more relaxed.

moosh Tue 26-Aug-08 16:38:14

Don't feel too bad about it. The funny thing is if you look at alot of parents when your out and about as I have this last 6 weeks, they all seem to look like me. Faces strained and tired, tempers short and hard looks of discipline given to their dc should they misbehave out in public. smile
I think we all feel like that at the mo. Roll on next week as ds1 returns on Monday to school, but have to wait till 30th for ds2!!!

meanmutha Fri 29-Aug-08 22:39:46

Hey, DO NOT FEEL GUILTY! Wouldn't it be ridiculous if we were all perfect robot mummies?! But we're not. We're Human FFS!
I flipped out with my son at an airport - it was hideous. But they're Horrible places and to be stuck delayed with kids is a nightmare (theres nothing there for them to do!!)

jojo76 Fri 29-Aug-08 22:52:30

yes, dont feel bad, that sounds like an absolute NIGHTMARE!!!! I am sure I would have reacted the same. I smacked ds1 when he was kicking out at my tummy when i was changing his nappy, was pg with ds2. These things happen, all any of us can do is recognise that it wasn't ideal and try to think of ways they can avoid it in the future. It's so hard when they play up in public, it seems so much worse.

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