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guy is interested in me, I fancy him, why cant I DO anything about it?!?!

(2 Posts)
ratbunny Sun 24-Aug-08 20:08:56

I havent dated for 15 years. ex h is my only sexual partner.

and now we have been separated for a few months, I met this guy I fancy the pants off, and he appears interested in me (lots of signs).
But WHY cant I do anything about it?
I REALLY want to touch him, kiss him etc (not really looking for a relationship tbh, but even doing THIS would be a start). BUT I JUST CANT.

and now I think I may be putting him off cos I react so weird. but I dont know what to do / say about it.

is it years of conditioning myself not to react to men flirting? to pull away if they touched cos I was faithful to xh? or is it cos I am not ready? or cos I DONT want a relationship, just the physical stuff, and so dont want to let him down?

PLEASE HELP ME!!!!

duke748 Sun 24-Aug-08 21:28:34

Hi.

Well as you are about to find out - dating is a bloody minefield! But, boy is it fun!

I strongly recommend.... 'A Date with Sarah Beeny: Mysinglefriend.com's Guide to Dating and Dumping, Flirting and Fling' for a fun irrelevant view of dating and how to do it.

From my experience, it tends to be the guy who makes the first move such as kissing etc. Your role (and I know I'm being very bloody sexist here) is to let him know you like him too by doing things like, laughing at his jokes, touching his arm when making a point, looking into his eyes and looking away when he looks at you etc....

One little tip that I use to move things along abit is to say something like 'what are you up to this weekend?' If he says he is super busy doing this that and the other, then great, sound interested and say something like 'well let me know what the film was like'.

If it seems quite a slow weekend, then say 'I am at a loose end on Sunday too'. If he takes the bait then he might suggest you meet up.... Or if you are feeling brave, then you could suggest it! Its a good technique as you can back out anytime, depending how it goes.

But perhaps you need to figure out what you want from this guy. But nowadays if you go for a drink or to the cinema with someone it doesn't mean you are dating or serious so don't worry that you will be leading him on.... thats a long way down the road.

Have fun, find out what you want and like, and enjoy all the things that are good about being single. Like being able to watch trashy TV, catching up with friends for ages on the phone, not tripping over his dirty shoes in the hallway everyday...... I am sure you can make up your own list!

When you are in a relationship, enjoy the good bits about that, and when single, enjoy the good things about that!

Its tremendous fun, so go and get 'um girl!!!

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