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Why can't I cope with them ??

(51 Posts)
IllegallyBrunette Sun 24-Aug-08 18:27:40

My kids I mean.

They are driving me demented, and I can't stand it anymore.

I just want to sit in a room all on my own and never come out again.

collision Sun 24-Aug-08 18:35:22

what has happened? anything specific??

mrsruffallo Sun 24-Aug-08 18:36:39

Get some sllep, eat well, look after yourself.

IllegallyBrunette Sun 24-Aug-08 18:37:04

No nothing in partic, just the normal screaming, shouting, arguing, fighting etc etc.

I just had two days away from them so you'd think I could cope ok after a bit of a break but I feel so stressed with them already.

I am just so fed up of it all.

IllegallyBrunette Sun 24-Aug-08 18:38:12

Sometimes I really wonder wether them living with me is such a good idea.

FAQ Sun 24-Aug-08 18:38:12

Ahh - that was me Tuesday just gone - had a horrendous time with them - even texted my ex and told him that they wanted to live with him so could he please sort it out blush

That was just after I'd had 2 days away from them too......

How old are yours??

LIZS Sun 24-Aug-08 18:40:00

You're tired, have had a taste of a social life without them, they are probably happy to be home and with you again. Pack them off outside to burn off some energy.

IllegallyBrunette Sun 24-Aug-08 18:40:40

10,8 and 5.

I just wish they'd get on, and be nice, and stop bloody whinging and shouting.

Mind you, they deserve better than me for a mother so I don't blame them for whinging.

FAQ Sun 24-Aug-08 18:42:51

aha - my older 2 are nearly 8 and nearly 5 - don't forget there's only 1 week left of the summer holidays - they're getting serously bored now.

You are NOT a shit mother, you can cope with them - you're just having a crap day (don't we all - just some of us have more than others blush).

IllegallyBrunette Sun 24-Aug-08 18:43:29

Just had to get them in from outside because they were hitting each other on the trampoline.

You are right though Liz, I had a taste of a social life and am pissed off that I had to come back to reality.

LIZS Sun 24-Aug-08 18:43:51

Stop being so hard on yourself. Plan your holiday and get them to think ahead too. Did you meet any nice people at the wedding (I don't mean men!) who you could arrange to see when they are next at their dad's ?

FAQ Sun 24-Aug-08 18:44:53

oh - and I'm finding it hard with only 2 that are getting fed up of the school holidays - (DS3 too young to care/know) - so hats off to you for having 3 smile

IllegallyBrunette Sun 24-Aug-08 18:45:26

No didn't meet anyone I could socialise with.

Tbh I am dreading the holiday at the mo.

LIZS Sun 24-Aug-08 18:48:48

That's a shame. Don't forget you were so stressed about the wedding so part of this is you getting over that and losing that focus.

piratecat Sun 24-Aug-08 18:50:06

ib, following on from you other threads, i think you need some help for you atm. Mahbe someone like a counsellor, or that combined with some anti depressants?

just a thought? hope you don't take it to heart, as i just get the feeling this is a prolonged time that you have been feeling low and down on yourself?

and i speak from exp. x

IllegallyBrunette Sun 24-Aug-08 18:53:37

Appreciate the advice PC, but I really don't want to take ad's. They aren't going to change the things I hate about my life so I don't see the point.

IllegallyBrunette Sun 24-Aug-08 18:59:10

Sorry, meant to add that I have taken them before and they made no difference to me at all.

I id alot of people watching at the wedding, and eveyone had things to talk about, you know their job or their other half, recent holiday, night out etc etc and I had absolutly nothing to say at all. Found it really hard to join in with any conversation.

muggglewump Sun 24-Aug-08 19:04:32

I've just got one DC and I find it hard at times. I'm no stranger to losing my temper and shrieking like a fishwife.
Don't be so hard on yourself.
Don't think they want a better mother either. I sank to that once, I though DD would be better off with someone else but she doesn't want anyone else, she wants me, her Mum and she loves me and adores me, even with my fishwifeness (yes it's a word).
Go to the doctors, AD's do help, even if just to help you cope for a while, I had valium type drugs at one point. I needed them for DD's sake.
You are not doing a bad job, this parenting lark is hard.

LIZS Sun 24-Aug-08 19:12:59

Well you'll soon have your holiday and course to use as a starting point, and if you do meet any of them you'd have the wedding in common. Hopefully you'll find someone on your course up for a night out on a Friday occasionally, even if only to the cinema or take away .

IllegallyBrunette Sun 24-Aug-08 19:13:54

Yeah

IllegallyBrunette Sun 24-Aug-08 19:19:56

Coming home from being in other adult company to being on my own with 3 kids again felt so hard that I cried as soon as my mum left.

LIZS Sun 24-Aug-08 20:05:35



Try to use that to motivate you to find some company via your course.

MrsSnorty Sun 24-Aug-08 20:16:39

Umm - I had a weekend away without DS for the first time recently and had a super shit day on the Monday we were both home again. Think it brings up a lot of isshues about loss of freedom/too many responsibilities etc etc. Takes a few days to settle back into it I think.

IllegallyBrunette Sun 24-Aug-08 21:35:19

Am still not 100% about the course, so am going to the college to speak to someone next week.

I am just never ever going to get used to being on my own.

LIZS Mon 25-Aug-08 09:01:21

Is it the course itself or the idea and commitment of studying ? You have already decided that you need more qualifications to be able to secure a job and change your situation it is really a case of what. You seem to need the discipline and formality of a college environment to motivate you.

Remember you've proved to yourself several times this year that the anxiety of anticipation is far worse than the actual thing. A gp or counsellor may be able to help you find techniques to overcome some of this, which in turn may make the other things seem less stressful.

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