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Pathetic me, too afraid to take DD on weekend trip alone.

(46 Posts)
MUMDONEGOOD Fri 22-Aug-08 07:57:02

I'm so pathetic, Bank holiday is coming up and I dont want to be sitting here dreaming of ex having fun with new wife to be. But on the otherhand too frightened to take dd away for a weekend trip as never gone alone before. Anyone done this sort of thing. Maybe not a good time as all families will be together. Should I stay in bed and cry. Thats what I feel like doing.sad

HumpheryCushion Fri 22-Aug-08 08:04:16

how old is DD?
where were you thinking of going?
what is it that frightens you?
preparation is the key, I think.
don't be sad - i take my DCs out by myself a lot, and the first time is really daunting - but once you're there, it's great! smile

HappypillsGalore Fri 22-Aug-08 08:05:55

aw, youve come to the right place
answer humphreys questions and we'll see what we can do to help pep you up smile

MUMDONEGOOD Fri 22-Aug-08 08:10:00

DD is eight years old.
Not sure where to go, a friend suggested Bath.
I am frightened of being alone and something happening to us and me not being able to cope with an emergency.
Always have had a male around as security. Sad I know.

Blackduck Fri 22-Aug-08 08:11:20

Not an LP, but have had weekends with DS on my own - you will be amazed at how many parents take their children away/out alone so don't ehink you will stick out! ALways find that ds breaks the ice as he will find other children and play with them. Key as HC says is to be prepared....

HumpheryCushion Fri 22-Aug-08 08:16:47

It's OK, you just need to build up your self confidence a bit.

I would suggest going somewhere like a museum or an event specially for children.

That way, there will be plenty of people around to help if you need it.

You probably won't need it, but it'll be a bit of a safety net until you feel more relaxed about in charge.

Involve your DD in planning the day - maybe take a picnic and let her pick the food.
You and she will have great adventures together - safe ones. smile

Think how proud of yourself you will be when you get home.

HappypillsGalore Fri 22-Aug-08 08:17:46

ok, youve got to let yourself off the 'sad' hook. if youve always had someone around, then going it alone is new; doesnt make it sad.
you can do new things
think of the thrill youll get from being all grown up and independent and what a fab example you'll be setting.
since its just you to decide, you dont have to compromise choices on where you go/how you get there,
so you could pop down to a high st travel agent and see what they have in the way of last minute packages... coach or train with hotel sorted in advance... if you have an emergency, you'll do the same as you do when at home; call the relevent person/service.
you can do it

BecauseImWorthIt Fri 22-Aug-08 08:18:41

If it scares you that much, then I think you should build up to it. Start by going out somewhere for a day, go somewhere which involves a train or coach trip. See how you get on with that first. Ask DD where she would like to go, so that you know she will look forward to it/is likely to enjoy it.

Sort out what you need to take with you - as has been said, preparation is the key. Make a list, think about what might/could go wrong (very little really, if she's 8 years old) and make sure you have all manner of different things in your bag, books/magazines for you both, wet wipes, basic first aid stuff such as plasters or any general pain killers or any other medication that is likely to be necessary).

And then go!

I bet you will have a fab time, honestly!

HappypillsGalore Fri 22-Aug-08 08:20:06

i get friendly people talking to me and helping out when im on my own. its actually way more sociable than being with someone ime.
like humph says, youre confidence just needs a wee boost. and you'll get lots of it from just doing little things, buidling up to bigger things.
baby steps
rome wasnt built in a day
one step at a time...

arfishy Fri 22-Aug-08 08:25:37

MDG - Do it. You'll be fine. I've taken DD away on her own, with just me, to Thailand, Australia, Fiji, Italy, Germany and Holland, from 10 months old (so had to deal with bottles/weaning/sterilisers/foreign languages - a couple of hospital visits while overseas, broken bones but have dealt with it all by myself!).

It's a worry the first time, but if you stay in the UK and go somewhere like Haven or CentreParcs it will be fine.

I was alone with DD (5) in Fiji last month and I think every other person there was in a couple. So what? My DD had so much mummy time, was just about the only child not in kids club, and we really enjoyed each others company. I honestly would never give a stuff what other people are thinking.

Please go and do it. Once you've done it once you'll be fine. There are also plenty of single parents around too, often at places like Haven and Centreparcs.

Please go off and book something! Actually, I'd be more scared of the bank holiday prices than going away tbh! wink

MUMDONEGOOD Fri 22-Aug-08 08:26:35

Thanks everyone. Will try somewhere not too far first for the day as suggested maybe tomorrow. Still nervous. What happens if I meet trouble on the train. Will prepare tonight and see if I make it tomorrow.

arfishy Fri 22-Aug-08 08:27:58

BTW I'm in Australia, so Fiji is a bit like the Isle of Wight to me, not a huge long-haul extravagaza!

HappypillsGalore Fri 22-Aug-08 08:32:58

you are v unlikely to meet trouble on the train... honestly.

BecauseImWorthIt Fri 22-Aug-08 08:34:49

Try to make yourself look on the positive side rather than focusing on negatives that are very unlikely to happen. If you are anxious then you will make your DD anxious, which would be a shame.

MUMDONEGOOD Fri 22-Aug-08 08:35:47

Thats just it. I'm quite unlucky in life. Nothing ever goes right or smoothly, which is why I'm scared. Silly I know.

HumpheryCushion Fri 22-Aug-08 08:37:56

Nothing bad will happen on the train.
Get your game face on, and stride confidently everywhere you go.
Show your DD that you enjoy her company, and you love being out and about with her.
Change the focus of the day from being your nervousness, to being how fab you can make the trip for DD.
Do things to distract yourself from your anxieties - maybe take a travel game for the train, or a book/magazine that you could read to DD.
You may not feel confident inside, but act like you are.
You'll convince everyone else, and soon you'll start to believe it too. smile
Be proud of yourself for showing your DD that you can do anything, go anywhere.
The time will fly by, and you'll soon be back home, feeling proud of how you've coped.

FioFio Fri 22-Aug-08 08:38:18

Message withdrawn

arfishy Fri 22-Aug-08 08:39:41

Yes MDG, it's true. When I was in London I was on the train every day, twice a day for years and years (about 14) and have never once seen any trouble - not even on the very last trains out of Waterloo at 1am full of drunks.

MUMDONEGOOD Fri 22-Aug-08 08:40:26

ok folks you have sort of convinced me. Will try a daytrip tomorrow and see how it goes. Will let you all know.

BecauseImWorthIt Fri 22-Aug-08 08:45:25

Nonsense about being unlucky. All you are doing is focusing on the things that might have been less pleasant and taking for granted the things that went well/were positive.

You make your own luck, IMO.

magentadreamer Fri 22-Aug-08 17:20:46

Some of the best holidays I've ever had have been just DD and I. The first trip was to Greece when she was 3 - we had a ball! The only time I got a bit eeeek wot if something goes wrong was when we went to the States. I remember asking my Mum if she'd meet DD at the airport if something happened to me - Mum shook her head said No I'll fly out to make sure my little girl was ok! DD and I often take off for the weekend and Ive yet to have the "poor single Mum" looks. Just go for it nothing will happen and if it does you'll sort it out I'm sure!

Mercy Fri 22-Aug-08 17:31:06

MDG, don't worry - I can get nervous about taking my 2 out for a day trip sometimes, let alone for a weekend.

Agree with others about starting with a small outing first.

I find the anticipation is always worse than the actual trip! (I tend to come home feeling good about myself actually)

My dd (7) also helps me with directions which I find reassuring plus I always take my mobile phone.

Good luck smile

MUMDONEGOOD Fri 22-Aug-08 17:44:31

I have done it, now I feel sick. We are going tomorrow to Brighton till Monday. What have I done!!!!!!!!!

Mercy Fri 22-Aug-08 17:46:12

Well done! Did dd enjoy it?

MUMDONEGOOD Fri 22-Aug-08 17:47:05

Not going till tomorrow but she is already really excited.

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