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Feeling really alone and fed up

(5 Posts)
choccypuddin Tue 19-Aug-08 16:37:56

Hi im 32 weeks pregnant my partner left me 4months ago and been back and forth ever since he finally told me he wants nothin 2do with me or the baby ever again. It as hurt me so much and im strugglin to get through the day. Just hopin someone wants 2chat

brightwell Tue 19-Aug-08 17:34:10

Big hugs to you, didn't want this to go unanswered. Life must be really hard for you just now.

slightlycrumpled Tue 19-Aug-08 18:03:48

Hi choccypuddin, How very sad for you, BUT it truly is his loss.

This happened to me when I was pregnant with ds1 and I was devestated, I couldn't imagine life as a single mother and was not how I imagined my pregnancy experience would be.

When my baby was born something clicked in my mind and I realised that actually I could do this and would enjoy it.

My ex dp stuck to his word and after seeing him a handful of times has had nothing to do with his son. He has never provided financial support and eventually I gave up trying. (I was lucky, had v. good job).

Just before his first birthday I met my now husband and went on to have another child. My husband is ds1's daddy and is everything a husband and father should be, (mostly!).

Of course you are hurt and you are hurting on behalf of your baby as well. Give yourself time to recover but it will be okay!

gillybean2 Tue 19-Aug-08 19:33:39

Hi Choccypuddin. This is more or less what happened to me too. Baby wasn't planned but was very much wanted by me. Not the same for my ex. He basically told me we have a chance together if you get rid of the baby, but if you don't we have no chance. I choose the baby. He came round for a bit but then decided he wasn't ready to be a dad and that was that.

My pregnancy wasn't at all what I hoped it would be. Lots of stress, worry and uncertainty. Didn't even have a home or a job at that point. But the hormones kicked in for the last 6 weeks and I was on a natural high despite it all. Plus I got a temping job which kept me busy till baby arrived.

The first few weeks aren't too bad. Lots of visitors, midwife, health visitor, weekly post natal class to go to. It got me out the house though some weeks it was a struggle to make it. Try and go along if you possibly can, you might meet some friends and be able to support each other as your baby's grow older.

9 years down the line things are tough and I'm still on my own. Very little support. Was at home for the first 5 years but when my ds started school I went back to work. Am better off now financially but nowhere close to comfortable. Also have no opportunity for a social life due to lack of funds, can't afford babysitters and have very few friends. Everything revolves around my ds. He's wonderful though and is what keeps me going through each day. I'm all he has after all.

We have good days and bad days. But I've got this far. You will too.

Keep strong. Your baby needs you. Don't be afraid or be too proud to ask for help. And make sure you take time out to enjoy your baby. Housework can wait. (Mine's going to be waiting at least another 9 years!)

Best wishes
Gilly

choccypuddin Tue 19-Aug-08 21:11:28

Thanks everyone for your advice. My ex is also my manager at work and i have had to leave my job as it was just awful bein around him. I cant get out much as i need to save all my money for the baby. Its nice to hear from people that it will get better

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