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Have been a bit in denial, but now feel ready to join if I may

(5 Posts)
MissMiff Sun 17-Aug-08 22:58:12

Hello,

Just wanted to introduce myself: Dh left a few months ago; I'm mother to four dds (inc twins) am also pregnant with number five, but didn't find out until after dh left!
I have only just started to tell some people that we have split up (previously only my parents knew) and still wear my wedding ring to go out etc for appearances sake.I think I wanted to be over the worst of it first if that makes sense?
Dh doesn't see the dcs very often, but gives us full financial support (larger house, all bills etc) and seems to think this compensates for lack of help.
I just wondered how people have coped alone with pregnancy; it feels so psychologically lonely to go it alone.
Sorry a bit rambling.

Prettyfull Sun 17-Aug-08 23:18:18

Hey, how are ya? Just wanted to reply, as i didnt wana ignore your post! I am a lone parent, to dd whos just turned 4 so iv got it a whole lot easier then you with your little ones lol I find it hard at times, not with her as shes an angel but more so the fact of being lonely!

Lucily i have help from my mum,...do you have friends family to help you through the break up/pregnancy etc?
How has your ex taken to the new pregnancy?? Any chance of you two making it work again?? Sorry---im so nosey!

Hope everything works out ok for you and chidlren

xxx

eyeballs Sun 17-Aug-08 23:21:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MissMiff Mon 18-Aug-08 01:36:52

I think I'm coping with the break-up (well I suppose like most people I have difficult days). I haven't told people about the pregnancy yet, I had some early pregnancy complications so am waiting until after the 20wk scan. I'm afraid dh wanted me to have an abortion; he's a little more reconciled to it now but it's not perfect by any means... e.g.he barely managed to conceal his disappointment when my threatened miscarriage turned out not to be so.
My family don't live nearby and I am not close to them, but I can rely on them in an emergency. My mother advised me to "buy in help" lol. I am reluctant to do this, but have paid for the twins (2yrs) to go to nursery a couple of days a week which is a real help and they enjoy it too.
Not really any chance of us making it work; he has asked to return but I cannot forgive him for the uncaring behaiour he has consistently displayed since he left. I also despise him (sorry, can't you tell it's still a little raw!!)and would only ever consider to safeguard our future finances - which isn't a great idea.
Luckily the children are well behaved (well most of the time) the worst part is coping without a husband/partner during the pregnancy, it feels so strange.

Prettyfull Mon 18-Aug-08 09:28:23

Im not sure what to say really as iv never had to cope with 4 children and a pregnancy, but i can imagine its going to be very hard work,...but its going to make you a stronger person!!

I think if i was in your case id be a little worried about whos going to have the children while im in labour/in hospital etc and when your tired after the birth etcetc Will your family come down to help with all that?? Do you have a best friend to help with the children,...come along to scan, check ups or to be a birth partner etc??

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