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worried about the effect on ds of his father remarrying

(3 Posts)
lexiwest Sat 16-Aug-08 09:26:02

My ds is currently with his dad for 2 weeks. Appart from the fact that this is too long for a child to be away from his mum and vice versa he will be put through a house move and next saturday his dad's wedding. Before ds left he had regressed and started wetting himself worrying about all that was going on and being very clingy to me. I have had phone contact with him and he talked about his dad and mum - NO i am the only mum - I hate that he called her mum. When ds comes home he will hardly have any time to re-adjust before school starts again. Does anyone now how to help him deal with all these changes and do I have any right to make sure that he doesn't call her "mum"? Very worried for him. On a personal note why does the Idea that he is remarrying hurt me so much after all I left him because of domestic violence and shouldn't care what he does and should be thinking poor girl marrying him - you don't know what lies ahead of you.
sorry about all the waffle but know others out there will have gone though this and will have great words of wisdom!

goodasgold Sun 17-Aug-08 00:35:43

I'm not in your position and don't have any experience in this, but your post touched a nerve somehow.

How old is ds? He should NOT call anybody else mum, I think that's a bit sick.
I feel for you, having him away from you when you are worried about him, try to plan some nice things and lots of time with him before school starts.

Best wishes.

Alexa808 Sun 17-Aug-08 09:39:51

Maybe he feels your tension and sadness and that's why he seems to 'regress'?

Poor you. I don't think you should mention anything to your ds re the 'mum' issue but rather your ex or talk to his new wife directly. Be pleasant and nice but say you don't want him to call her Mum as she's not his mother, but xyz. Be firm, that's reasonable I think. Can understand you.

Someone on MN said that you might be hurting for your lost dreams, not the ex itself. IYSWIM. Think GAG is right, plan some fun activities for yourself and for your ds once he's back. Go out with friends or clean up the house, etc...anything to keep you busy. Chin up! There'll be better days, at least you don't have to suffer your ex anymore!

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