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(10 Posts)
glitzypinks Fri 15-Aug-08 10:43:04

i feel so worthless my daughters dad has been having an affair with a woman at work he swore on our daughters life he wasnt then i found out for certain it was true i feel sick that he could swear on our daughters life and lie about it, how evil can he be ????

Overmydeadbody Fri 15-Aug-08 10:44:28

So are you with your daughter's father? Did he cheat on you? Or are you a single parent but upset that he lied to you?

Overmydeadbody Fri 15-Aug-08 10:45:01

meant to say as well, his behaviour does not mean you are worthless.

gillybean2 Sat 16-Aug-08 09:27:58

Shows that he is a worthless person if you ask me. Nothing to do with your worth if he is an idiot. You're certainly not worthless. You might feel used, and stupid for believing him, but it's not you that is the worthless person here.

If he can do something so awful to you and your daughter he will do the same to this OW and to lots of other people. Best rid of him! I do know how much it hurts though. That is what you're feeling, hurt that you trusted someone and wanted to believe them and did believe them when you shouldn't of. That shows you are a trusting person who wants to believe the best in people. Those are hardly worthless qualities at all now are they!

Find someone more worthy of you.

ivenamechangedforthis Sat 16-Aug-08 09:52:39

Mine swore on his daughters life too he lied

ivenamechangedforthis Sat 16-Aug-08 09:52:58

oops sorry changed for a different thread

solo Sat 16-Aug-08 09:59:43

My Ds's father swore on his daughters life too...
Just because they feel able to disrespect you and your child does not reflect on you though. I don't think men always give too much thought to it...just words to many - not all though. Hope that makes sense.

solo Sat 16-Aug-08 10:01:34

Why do they lie though? that's what gets me. My ex lied too, over and over, but swearing on his Dd's life - I could spit teeth! angry

gillybean2 Tue 19-Aug-08 22:42:22

I've come to the conclusion that my ex lies to avoid confrontation. He thinks it's better/easier to lie and makes his life less complicated. And he lies about such stupid things too.

But it's one thing saying 'no you don't look fat in that' and quite another to say 'I've been seperated for over a year' when in fact he was still living with his now ex but at the time she wasn't an ex. But coz she was ex 'in his mind' and he was intending to move out it wasn't a lie in his eyes.

Course in reality he most always gets caught out and it makes his life so much harder in the long run. I can pretty easily tell when he's lying nowadays. Mostly I just let it go though as I can't be bothered with it any more. He probably thinks he got away with it. I on the other hand think he's a prize idiot and have no respoect at all for him when he lies like this.

But a lot of this is how he was brought up. If you get caught doing something wrong you get in big big trouble. If you can lie and get away with it you don't get into trouble.
With my own ds I've tried to teach him that even if he does something he shouldn't of he should tell the truth. If he lies about it he gets told off far far worse than if he admits it. I hope this will help him be honest when he is older. Course school don't see it the same way as I do and it's been a lot more difficult since he started school.

misi Tue 19-Aug-08 23:03:32

as a bloke, I will say you are not worthless glitzypinks, it is he that is worthless one here.
NO matter what the circumstances, there is no excuse to go and cheat on someone. when you are together, if there are problems you should tackle them and not go out and find false solace with someone else.
I agree with gilly too. sometimes to avoid the confrontation that my ex was so good at, I told lies, the biggest of which was not actually a lie but an omission of truth by not telling my ex her godmother had tried it on with me and my rejection (well revulsion is more like it wink) was thr reason that our working relationship was going down the pan (my exs godmaother was a director of our business and was becoming more involved in its running) If I had told her the truth, she would not have believed it as her godmother was one of those people who can tweist anything and was like a mother to my ex as well and overall I thought the situation would be worse. other than that I always encourage my son and his 5 cousins who are regular over nighters in my house that I do not tell them off for things they do wrong unless they try to hide what they did. if they tell me, then we work it out, repair or whatever and this alos registers my disapproval but they know that the truth is best. but back to the original post, glitzypinks, you are not worthless, you do not deserve to be cheated on, no one does, if he hasn't the balls to talk to you about problems or he thinks you are not enough for him and he needs something else, then hes the worthless one and you should be holding your head up and now taking charge of the situation. as for swearing on his childs life when knowing his oath is false, well loosing his balls would be too good if you ask me!!

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