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just need a rant thats all (again)

(15 Posts)
nightowl Sat 12-Feb-05 23:09:59

why does everything have to be a fight with my baby? if i change her nappy she cries, turns over, wriggles away..same when i change her clothes. when i give her food she throws it up the wall but wont let me feed her. i had to hold her still tonight and actually put one piece of food in her mouth before she would eat the rest, then she was absolutely fine. she hits me, stabs me with things. screams if she thinks im not looking at her playing, screams if i leave the room, screams for a bottle, reaches out for it then throws herself backwards when i try to give it her...i have to put it in her mouth then when she tastes it shes fine again. she strops constantly, screams when i put her in the car seat and wont sit down, tenses up and wont put her legs in the buggy, slides down the seat when i try to get her out. i know ive posted about this before but its just getting worse. i try to get on with things and make a joke out of it but im just at a loss. normal baby things and i cant seem to cope.how long will it be before this passes? (she's 13 months).

jamiesam Sat 12-Feb-05 23:29:43

I know that I'll be a hopeless person to reply to your .. cry for help? But so much of it sounds familiar.

Must start by confessing that as I have a dh, I don't have to cope on my own like you do. Personally, I often feel like my boys can just look at me and cry. However, with ds2, I do sometimes get the overwhelming impression that if I respond to some of his whinging and whining with a smile, then I can break him out of it.

And while ds1 has always eaten for England, ds2 is just way more picky. And sometimes, it's just easier at mealtimes to put the food in front of him and leave him to it. As he's 19mths now, and his massive independent streak began at around 7/8mths, it has meant that the amount of food going in has been very limited some times. And I've done far more than my fair share of sitting in front of him with lovingly prepared, but unwanted, food, just crying in desparation.

As ever, if I had the answers, I'd have written the book and been featured on MN! Is your dd ALWAYS that bad or do you have good times too? Both my ds's seem to perform well for a crowd - both good behaviour and bad, which makes me think that if I were brave enough, and went out more, they might play up less?! There's a great old wives tale that children will play up less for grandparents than for parents - I don't have hands-on grandparents but if you do, does this ring true?

stupidgirl Sat 12-Feb-05 23:45:45

No real advice, but sympathy. It's so hard on your own. Do you have any kind of support network? Do you ever get any 'time off'?

nightowl Sat 12-Feb-05 23:53:34

i dont get much time off. not sure if you know about me losing my job but ive been stuck in my house now for over a year. every day im stuck here within the four walls just me and baby. ds comes home from school and baby wont let me spend any time with him. i know i should try surestart and things like that but i still have to come home to no-one special and a stroppy baby. she is like it all the time. of course, she does smile and plays but the nice things seem to be overtaken by the stroppy nasty things she does right now. feel so bad that i keep wishing she was older and could communicate about what she wants. i go out about once every two months and thats the time off i have. rather than time off i wish i could do something that would make her a happier baby in general or am i just being silly because thats what babies do!!!!!???

secur Sun 13-Feb-05 00:00:47

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kimbie Sun 13-Feb-05 00:16:11

hi im kim. Sorry to hear this about ur babs. My youngest also wriggles when im changing her i give her a toy to hold sometimes that works.Shes also started hitting me and others if she cant get her own way i tell her no thats naughty and ignore her 4 a while until it passes. When she does have one of her strops u could try acting as though u dont care ignoring it and she might see u not responding and in the end she might think this whinging is pointless.when she has calmed down she can have your undivided attention.
And when she does eventually sit in her buggy with out a fuss praise her with kisses and hugs.this is what i tried with my eldest when she was little she used to do it when she was about 2 she was little miss whingealot!!
i hope this helps, and it will pass, alot of children d go through these stages your not alone. ((((hugs))))

nightowl Sun 13-Feb-05 00:24:44

think i was just blessed with ds as he never did this! he had phases but he was never naughty, stroppy or constantly whinging. i know im probably making a fuss over nothing and its what most babies are like, i just dont know how to deal with it. if a one year old has a tantrum do you comfort or ignore? is one too young to be "naughty"? its like being a first time mum, i just dont have a clue. think im more frightened that its going to get worse!

milward Sun 13-Feb-05 00:31:48

nightowl - this is a tough time for you. Sending lots of best wishes. Hopefully once your dd can communicate more - things will get better. For some kids life can be frustrating when they don't know what they want & can't say it!! Sometimes when my dd doesn't want to put her shoes on when we have to take other dds to school I just say fine lets go & once we're at the car she's asking for her shoes to go on - saves me time as no struggle. This sort of stratergy might work for your dd? When she's putting up a fight just say fine (take a breath!!) & see what happens perhaps when your dd isn't getting all the attention from her behanviour things might be easier (iyswim)Sending lots of best wishes xxx

secur Mon 14-Feb-05 01:02:56

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nightowl Mon 14-Feb-05 03:34:44

thanks secur... i did think about it all afterwards and thought that dd's routine was probably putting stress on all of us so im trying to change that first. it wont help the tantrums but at least if shes in bed earlier i can get some "ds time" and "me time" without ending up here in the early hours!

we did have one nice moment today when dd decided to put her dinner dish on her face and do a crazy frog impression. ds thought that was hilarious and told her to "put dish on head" to which she just stared at him, smiled and then shook her head. it was quite cute i have to admit. (my baby refusing to make a mess, now theres something new!) i know it will pass, its just nice to let off steam on here. helps a lot

secur Tue 15-Feb-05 00:49:07

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giraffeski Mon 14-Mar-05 20:05:39

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giraffeski Mon 14-Mar-05 20:11:47

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nightowl Tue 15-Mar-05 00:47:01

wow..had forgotten about this thread! things have got a bit better thankfully!! (thanks for post though giraffe)

giraffeski Tue 15-Mar-05 20:36:05

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