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someone give me some hope!!

(2 Posts)
mylifeisamess Wed 06-Aug-08 12:48:41

Not as dramatic as all that but I'm in the process of separating from my husband. The practicalities are awful but we have both said we will try and arrange things in the best way for the boys. (10, 8, 3) What I could really do with hearing are some stories where in fact it has worked out and people are on reasonable terms and the children are happy and know they are loved.


misi Wed 06-Aug-08 12:59:38

sort out the children and contact first, don't let money become an issue, talk to each other and stay as friendly as you can. leave out solicitors etc if you can and only use them if you really have to for a divorce if this is the way you are going.
talking openly and honestly will allay many problems as not doing so can often lead to misplaced thoughts of ''evil doing'' by the other person if that makes sense?
I have a coupe of friends who now have a stronger relationship now they are divorced than when they were together !! they have 4 kids oldest 14 now youngest 5, and the kids have benfitted greatly by the smooth transition to having 2 homes and 2 separate parents. they actually started a business together, 2 years after they split and work happily together (but mostly at different times as when one is working the other looks after the kids and vice versa)
this is an extra ordinary story, but to me it shows it can work, as when together they could have won an olympic gold for arguing!!

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