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What makes You burn with RAGE about your ex???

(40 Posts)
charlotte121 Tue 05-Aug-08 11:01:37

There are sooooo many things I hate and despise about him but today, once again it looks like he's going to let the kids down.
Couldn't see them at the weekend coz I took them out but was suppopsed to see them sunday... we got our wires crosssed and that didnt happen so we agreed he would come over one afternoon when he had finished work but now it seems that overtime is more important than seeing his kids so he will "have to let me know later" if he can make it.
Poor ds knows his daddy was supposed to be coming because I kept telling him yesterday and now hes gonna be disapointed. He's only 15 months but he gets very upset when his dad leaves and I was so pleased for him that he was gonna manage to still see his dad this week.
I have been having serious thought of moving to new zealand recently and starting a fresh but dont think I can really afford to. Ooooooh well can still wish.

CuckooClockWorkShy Tue 05-Aug-08 11:05:05

I hate the way my x gives my children nothing because it would "make your life easier" so despite earning 70k a year, he lets his children grow up in near poverty, because contributing to their welfare would undeniably make my life easier. So he's right the bastard.

He sees them whenever he wants though, waltzes in and my whole family bend over backwards to accommodate his demands. He doesn't appreciate anything. Whatever we do, it's "the least you could do".

I'm also tempted to go to NZ.

SpandexIsMyEnemy Tue 05-Aug-08 11:09:26

everything pretty much. well lack of interest in DS, readin my MN, er.. lieing thru his teeth at times but not always. sleeping in my bed (really grateing my goat at the mo)

could go on and on!!

i'd go to NZ if I thought X would let us but know he won't. don't think i actually could as dispite our differences he's still DS's dad.

MascaraOHara Tue 05-Aug-08 11:10:10

the fact that he is still breathing

charliecat Tue 05-Aug-08 11:10:50

charlotte dont tell you ds that daddy is coming, then he wont be disappointed, and if he does really start to let you down in the future(rather than just a case of wires being crossed) then it wont be as much of an issue as it would be if the kids are used to be told when dad will be coming.

Things that make me RAGE about my xp is that he SCREAMS and SHOUTS at me if I suggest swopping a tues/thurs visit for a mon/weds/fri one, yet when it suits him he doesnt turn up or just says Cant do tommorow, will do the next day. Which is FINE, but when I say it I get an earful of abuse. One rule for him, another entirely different one for me.

And now, he trys to nice to me, then hurls insults when I completely ignore him.
He had his chance to be nice, when we were together. Its too late now.

CuckooClockWorkShy Tue 05-Aug-08 11:20:04

Could he prevent you? I was reading the other day about a boy taken (by his mother) to Latvia. It mentioned that Latvia was outside the remit of the Hague Convention!

Latvia, hmmm, wonder what it's like hmm grin

bignutbrownhare Tue 05-Aug-08 11:47:17

Mascara, I'm with you on that one. Galling, isn't it?

1066andallthat Tue 05-Aug-08 12:02:59

It is reassuring to know that I'm not the only one grin.

Choosing not to contribute towards them or the massive debts he left. Denying there is anything wrong with DS2 so he doesn't do hospital appointments. The stress this causes me.

kodathekat Tue 05-Aug-08 12:07:22

I'm with Mascara too!! Latvia does sound nice though.

I often wonder how long it would take me to save up to hire a hitman.

I've learned not to tell DCs he's coming until it's a dead cert.

My particular pet hates (today) are him pointing out, "you really need to paint the front door." "Have you arranged for someone to fix the back wall?" and that real chestnut, "You really ought to make the children tidy-up, the house is a real mess."

Not to mention the fact that when he's not with his girlfriend he texts me at least several times per day. But when he's with her, he won't answer txts or his telephone for days on end. Oh well, a silver lining in some respects....

Mamazon Tue 05-Aug-08 12:11:18

all of the above...especially the breathing bit.

my ex refuses to offer any kind of maintenance and yet when he see's teh children he showers them with expensive gifts.
so i look like mean mummy who wont let them have a cheap little toy when were out but daddy is great and he buys us lots of presents.

but the worst worst worst thing he does is he uses emotional blackmail with my ASD son.
last time he saw them (we have court orders and everything, he is the only one that is to see them during contact) he bought his mother along. that alone would have made me angry but what made it worse is that he tld my son not to tell me asi would be very angry with him and take all his toys away and not let him see daddy anymore!

i would quite happily run him down in a tractor

chocolatespiders Tue 05-Aug-08 12:13:30

that he has not a clue how hard it is to be a good proper 100% parent
has dd one afternoon a week how easy is that... what a shock he will get when his new baby arrives in december...

and the fact that i put 100% into organising dd's bday and made plans to include him and his family in the plans..

It was really hard work preparing the hall and food and clearing up and guess what he sat there the whole time with a smug look on his face... so again he got the best bit of wathcing dd enjoy her birthday party and i decorated the hall, prepared the food carried chairs, tables, cleared up etc etc and he really honestly did nothing and cleared off exactly the time it finished and i was still there an hour after...

shock shock shock

beanieb Tue 05-Aug-08 12:17:17

he has my dog

charliecat Tue 05-Aug-08 12:33:43

Oh the comments thing, my xp would sit and make comments about dust and mess, and how I must be rolling in it because I had brought...wait for it...a £20 strimmer(after cutting the poxy grass edges with scissors for YEARS, which he knew) or a £3 t shirt from Primark.
I wont let him in my house now. Or get in any sort of conversation with him in person because it always ends up in a arguement.
He rings if I text him. That drives me insane. Will drop the kids off at half 12. What needs to be discussed about that? Fecking eck..getting angry just thinking about it. I often feel hes just ringing so it looks like hes got someone to talk to. And sometimes he would ring and what he was saying would just be BOLLOCKS and it was for someone in the backgrounds benefit.
Like, you know I go to work to support the kids. YOU LIAR. YOU EARN 2 GRAND. Last time he offered me money it was £70, so thats £35 a month per child.
Cheers mate. Its costs more a week in petrol than that to get them to school.
Will be backgrin

VinegarTits Tue 05-Aug-08 12:51:31

Oooh I have a long list:

The fact that he didnt speak to me for 12 months when i told him i was pregnant

The fact that he didnt come and see his son until he was 3 months old

The fact that he still lives with his mother and when ds goes to visit at weekends, my ex stays in his bedroom while grandma, feeds, baths, plays with my ds

The fact that he has never supported me finacially, csa calculated he should give ds £5 a week (pfft!) but he can't even afford to pay that because he wont get off his lazy arse and get a proper job, he claims to be a website designer from his bedroom hmm and is claiming benefits

The fact that he refers to himself as middle class and corrects my grammar, makes comments about where we live and says its depressing having to drive to my house

The fact that if was ever in a relationship with the tosser in the first place

The fact that he is still breathing

CuckooClockWorkShy Tue 05-Aug-08 16:35:53

Mamazon, Kodathekat

I'll assasinate Mamazon's x, Kodathekat can assassinate my x and Mamazon can assasinate Kodathekat's x.

Let the coppers figure THAT one out!!!!

I am catable grin

lostdad Tue 05-Aug-08 17:10:54

Erm...:

Being reduced from a parent who did 50% of caring for my son to seeing him for just 24 hours every fortnight.

Being accused of DV and child abuse with no basis in fact.

Being told my son is son being moved 300 miles away and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it.

Having the police called on me for trying to take my son for a walk in his pushchair.

My ex refusing to talk, go to mediation or anything else concerning our son forcing me to go to court.

My ex doing her best to cut me out of my son's life.

Forcing my son and myself to attend a contact centre when it was patently obvious he hated the place.

The fact that he is still breathing

glitterfairy Tue 05-Aug-08 18:57:19

I dont care enough tog et that upset any more, how fab is that and my x is an utter twat!

Usually seeing a thread like this my list starting at breathing would have gone on and on but today I am mellow and care less. He is out of my life!!!!!!

I expect this wont last and he will do something else but at the moment nothing he does has any impact. grin

allgonebellyup Tue 05-Aug-08 18:59:00

the fact that he wont come back home sad

muggglewump Tue 05-Aug-08 19:03:10

That he doesn't pay maintenance and never has. I don't care he doesn't have a relationship with her because she doesn't care, at least now anyway but I do care that we are living in poverty, scrimping and scraping (I've had no bread or milk for two days due to direct debit coming out early and bank charges for that too) while he has his own business back in Oz.
I'm going to look into going through the Australian CSA

solo Tue 05-Aug-08 19:12:39

EVERYTHING!!!! especially that he is still breathing angry

solo Tue 05-Aug-08 19:25:01

Ds's father gave me £25 a month for 10 months. When Ds had a birthday(1st or 2nd birthday and Ds will turn 10 on Sunday)he refused to give me the £25 because he'd bought him a birthday present! In total, I've had £300 out of him, so £30 a year! Oh and yes, he was in full time employment and on about £20k a year at the time without doing overtime.
He doesn't see Ds and I'm glad about that. Ds doesn't want to see him, not because I've told him anything bad, but because he says that he see's me struggle and try to give him everything and he knows that his father has not helped me out.
When I was pg with Ds, I needed(desperately)new knickers. We went out shopping and he bought himself new shirts/jeans etc. I eyed up the Quality Seconds knickers and the bastard wouldn't dip into his wallet for me, so I had to go without and take my mums cast offs(they were new but too small for her)

CuckooClockWorkShy Tue 05-Aug-08 21:45:26

Mugglewump, I think Australia was one of the countries that ratified the REMO (Reciprocal Enforcement of Maintenance Orders) act. I think I'm going to go down that route soon.

I will try to stay detached from it, not get my hopes up or expect anything, but I should at least try I suppose.

muggglewump Tue 05-Aug-08 23:19:45

They did Cuckoo which is why I'm going to look into it. Like you I don't want to get my hopes up but nothing to lose I reckon and possibly a hell of a lot to gain!

PurpleOne Wed 06-Aug-08 00:00:49

If I got going about my ex, I'd be here all night...

But he did say he was going to emigrate one day. Me and the dd's will be making sure he gets his arse on that plane....

Nothing but misery, gloating and bragging. I try and stay away from it, but now he's roped in his wife to slag me off too. If I'm such a shit mum, why doesn't he go for custody then? I'll bet he'll want more maintenance that the £17 he pays me (that I don't even get)

And he changed his religion when he got married, which completely bastardised everything me and the girls ever believed in. Trashed their little minds with things that we grew up with...that doesn't exist.
I'm not a christian but my kids are, and whatever they beleive in, I'll respect that. He totally chucked all that out the window. DD1 told me she wants to be a Pagan like me now....that'll ruffle the feathers a bit angry

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