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I've acted so badly tonight..

(19 Posts)
thornrose Sun 03-Aug-08 23:47:03

I've scared my dd (8) tonight with my anger and I feel so bad I hate myself. She has AS and is "challenging" at the best of times but she has really pushed my buttons all day today.
She's been in bed since 10 but is still awake and has just gone too far, I rushed into her room and yelled and shouted and showed that I'm at the end of my tether and she said I was scaring her sad. I feel so awful and it's too late to ring anyone I know to talk about this, I feel like such a bloody monster!

CvQ Sun 03-Aug-08 23:48:48

oh gets the better of anyone at times but you sound like youve had a difficult day.try not to worry and i bet she would have forgotten about by the morning <hug>

wrinklytum Sun 03-Aug-08 23:49:07

Oh Thornrose

We all have days like this,without the additional stresses that having a child with AS entails.

hugs Wrinkly xx

Tortington Sun 03-Aug-08 23:50:27

we all have bad days, what you must do is this :

stand i the middle of the living room and wave arms above your head.

this is like etch a sketch and erases previous feelings and allows you to start tomorrow on an upbeat.

seriously the best of us do pants things

try the etch a sketch! start tomorrow anew

ImnotOK Sun 03-Aug-08 23:50:55

You are not a terrible mother .
Just put today down to a crappy day and start again in the mrning .
Happens to us all xxx

orangehead Sun 03-Aug-08 23:51:19

Thornrose, I would be very surprised if any mnetter claimed that they had not once lost they temper, we are only human.

thornrose Sun 03-Aug-08 23:53:31

I'm just worried that she saw me all out of control and ranting like a bloody mad woman, I just had this huge amount of anger which needed to come out. I hope she will forget, she's actually asleep now.

Earlybird Sun 03-Aug-08 23:56:43

Sorry you're feeling crap. Maybe it will ultimately be a good thing because you showed her you are human and have limits.

wrinklytum Mon 04-Aug-08 00:00:16

Get a good nights sleep,now Thornrose.

I was getting riled by dd today and shes only 2.Her current obsession is with pressing buttons (Literally and metaphorically he he).She is also obsessed with doors and would spend hours swinging off em if I let her.Everytime I tried to get through a door she was there,or pressing the washing machine buttons,or opening the microwave.Its bloody exhausting....

thornrose Mon 04-Aug-08 00:02:33

Thanks so much to everyone, you have no idea how your responses have helped me get some perspective. I actually pulled my own hair very hard and my head really hurts, I've never actually "torn my hair out" before, and boy she now knows I'm human alright!!

charlotte121 Mon 04-Aug-08 00:34:57

Everybody does it once in a while... your dd will probs be fine in the mornign after a good nights sleep and just give her a hug an appolgise. Say your were just feeling very stressed. Im sure she'll be fine with it. Dont be yourself up over it, it will only leave you feeling worse

solo Mon 04-Aug-08 00:39:42

Why don't you write a little note to her saying ' I love you' and leave it in her room where she'll see it in the morning.

I've done the out of control screaming at poor Ds. Sometimes, I can't believe myself. Being a lone mum(or dad)is damned hard! don't be mad at yourself, it gets you nowhere.

thornrose Mon 04-Aug-08 00:41:20

I've lost my temper before,this was over the top and I can't get it out of my head. I think I will just give her a hug in the morning as you say and not go into it too much.
My mum is having her for a few hours tomorrow because she could see I needed a bit of a break, I'm really worried my dd tells her nana about it!

thornrose Mon 04-Aug-08 00:44:59

Thanks Solo, glad I'm not alone!

alipiggie Mon 04-Aug-08 01:32:40

You are so not alone. I'm a single mum to two boys and they certainly know "how to push my buttons". I feel bad when I lose it with them, but sometimes it really takes that for them to understand that they've gone too far. We all do the best we can. I always say I love you to them and I'm sure that by the morning you will both be feeling oh so much better.

PurpleOne Mon 04-Aug-08 02:44:13

I know theres something wrong with my dd of 13. She hasd never been'right'. Tests my patience to the limit.

Just chalk it up for tonight is all I can say. Apologise in the morning, if she remembers it. Give her a big hug and be ready to greet the new day...

We are just human. We let rip sometimes, we can only take so much?

My dds of 13 and 10 still expect me to tuck them in at night, and thats my classic cue to go in, apologise, kiss them goodnight and hug them close until the new day dawns. Then repeat ad infinitum....

You just showed them your limits and boundaries, which is only a good thing.

prettyfly1 Mon 04-Aug-08 13:26:57

oh crumbs i shout at my little horror all the time. seriously dont be so hard on yourself. ten is bloody late to still be up messing about so justtake a deep breath and keep trying

gillybean2 Mon 04-Aug-08 15:43:54

My ds said the same to me when I lost it really bad one time. When I calmed down I appologised for shouting and scaring him, but I did feel awful.

When I get cross about anything now I make sure he knows that I love him but I don't like his behaviour. And I also tell him when I am stressed and need some quiet so he has fair warning that I will loose my temper if he doesn't stop and how I don't want to get so cross that I end up shouting and he doesn't want that either now does he so please stop.

I tried giving him a scale of being 50% stressed, 90% stressed etc, but he kept using this on me saying he was 99% upset and the like, so I don't use that any more.

Tell her you love her and that you're sorry and that mum really needs a break and some quiet time and that is why you got so cross because you were too tired and not because she did anything bad, but she must go to bed when it is bed time.

thornrose Mon 04-Aug-08 16:42:48

Good advice thanks, I've been a coward and not mentioned it today, dd didn't either and all was well this morning.
My mum came and took her for a few hours and she's still not back, wonder if she tells my mum about it blush

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