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My children would scare my new lover away ...........................

(10 Posts)
moosh Sun 03-Aug-08 12:56:04

I have a new man in my life. I have always said that I would never introduce any boyfriends to them until I knew they were right for me, it could take months or even years.
My dc are such a handful that I truly think that if I introduced any man to them, no matter how long I waited, they would run a mile and finish with me !!!!!!!

I truly think they would and it kinda worries me a little, anyone else feel the same ?

lisad123 Sun 03-Aug-08 12:59:28

if you manage them all alone, they cant be that bad
Love me, love my kids comes to mind wink

or else, bibe them for a few weeks.

allgonebellyup Sun 03-Aug-08 13:00:01

i dont think i will ever get to this point, but you shouldnt really be worrying about it.

Are you not worried about whether your dc will feel unsettled that you have a new partner?

If your new man is such a catch, then theres no way he would run a mile. Unless he is a plonker.
And who's to say you have to introduce them and ensure they all have a relationship..maybe you should keep your relationship to yourself until youre absolutley sure of this man?

charliecat Sun 03-Aug-08 13:08:10

What do you mean they are such a handful?
Are they rude, disobedient, or just playful?
If they are rude and wont do as they are told get it sorted out and it wont be a an issue.
If they are playful if and when the time comes get them out in the open cycling in the forest. Or something like that where hopefully an excess energy is used up.

I do sort of know what you mean. A few times me and my kids have been asked out for meals/days out but running up to it they have been bickering lots and ive been a right moany cow to them, so I have got a baby sitter because I havent trusted myself not to turn into Dragon Mother in Public and in Company.
Other times its been fine and lovely.

Do you have a man in mind or is this just musing?

PurpleOne Sun 03-Aug-08 14:52:15

I feel the same moosh.

How old are your dc?

Earlybird Sun 03-Aug-08 15:42:12

How many dc do you have? Does your new man have any, and if so, how many?

Pinkchampagne Sun 03-Aug-08 16:29:46

I can identify with how you are feeling. Of course my main concern was with my children & how they would deal with me being in a new relationship, and I played it very carefully as I didn't want to disturb them. My new boyfriend was just introduced as my friend (although DS1 caught us hugging & twigged! Thankfully he was fine with about it), and even now a year (nearly) into the relationship, there have only been a few times where we have done things with the children as they are normally with their dad when I see him.
We have had a day out with the boys though, and been to friends a couple of times with the children.

I feel an awful lot for my new boyfriend & he tells me that my children are not a concern, but I do worry that the reality of my boys would be too much. He has no children of his own & a pretty good lifestyle, so I naturally worry about the whole issue of my children, especially as my eldest son has difficulties so isn't like other children of his age. He can be very hard work.

I didn't want to introduce the boys to him too soon because I didn't want to confuse my children, but now I feel so strongly for him, I do think of our future & worry like mad about it.

moosh Sun 03-Aug-08 18:33:54

My new guy has 2 girls one 7 and one 12.
My two boys are 8 and 4.

I am of the mind of love me love my boys of course I am. They come first but sometimes its really tough.

I don't plan to introduce him to them yet, not for sometime just incase it all goes down the pan! But sometimes if I have had a really tough couple of days with them, and we all get them as parents whether we are on our own or as a couple, they bicker and argue and don't do as they are told, I sometimes think "Gosh, if I ever bought someone home eventually to meet them and both the kids are having one of "those"days, they would run a mile. I am not too concerned about what their reaction could be if they ever met him as their dad has a new girlfriend and they've met her and seem to ,be fine about it.

Pinkchampagne Sun 03-Aug-08 18:38:29

If he has children of his own, I am sure he won't be too shocked. My DP just has a little westie dog, so I really worry whether he would find the reality of my children (two boys aged 8 & 5, so similar ages to yours) too much to cope with.

AMAZINWOMAN Sun 03-Aug-08 19:01:17

I also worry about this, as I am with my kids constantly. It would be hard trying to have private time together. I find it hard and sometimes a bit suffocating, so it would be really hard if I ever did meet someone specail.

I can't imagine meeting anyone though, I have been told that I'm too independent and too strong, which puts men off! Even if there was a man who would like these traits, he would have to be half decent looking. Sometimes I look at married women and think, ugh, you sleep with him!!

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