I have never been on this site before and I apologise if my post seems woe is me etc but I am finding it so hard to have reasons to stay on this planet, I love life and people which must seem a very strange thing to say given my subject title, I am not depressed, I don't think so anyway but I am beaten down and see no end to the pain and hardship, I apologise for the length I think this post will be.
I left my husband of 16 years two years ago, I was still in love with him and him apparently with me but his actions told me different, to cut a long story short it was extreme domestic violence, but rarely physical, I could have fought back if it were, the mental stuff was worse to me as no one would belive it,could see it, I became a shadow of my former self and almost went mad, was all my fault off course, never his.
We have children, one who has special needs, I left and so he decided none of us existed any more, fought me tooth and nail to not pay maintenance, I was awarded it for kids and he has played the system well, pays, does not pay etc.
In these two years I have not had one break away from house nor kids, they are teens but as special needs teen will not engage with another person, we seem to have falen through the cracks of professionals, I have been very vocal but as he will not engage it seems the prof are finding it difficult so we have been left to cope alone.
Ex since separation has moved some woman he met online rent our family home, I got her evicted but it took time and stress I did not need, all me and kids personal possessions have disappeared, I had no bank account so the sale of two properties we owned went into his bank account but he pleaded poverty in court, I have to live on single parent allowance and pay for private rental house with maintanence, he now I found out this week married another woman (pagan wedding at cost of ?500) last year even though we are not legally separated, they are now living in family home, he has barely contacted either child in 2 years, has not seen them in 2 years, has been informed by text and e mail about accidents and diagnosis etc but no reply but can contact when he does not pay maintenence to save his own ass, last August this fake wedding took place and he did not pay any maintenance as courts here are closed for whole of August, he apparently only knew this woman a short time and I only found out about it this week and I howled like a demonic woman, I did confront him by text but he denied it, I have concrete evidence.
For 2 years I have been at home 23 hours per day and I cannot take this way of life anymore, I really can't, he could just forget about his kids and get a new life whilst mine is non existant, I have no friends, nor family here and I am in a desperate state, I cannot see my life changing ever,
I want the world to know what a bad bastard he was and still is to me and the kids but it looks like that will never happen, I have been left with nothing, no work life, no social life, no love life and I am bone tired and weary now, he gave me a life of hell and left me with a life of hell and no one knows the real him as he changes to suit who ever he is with.
I am not now a lone parent, I am an alone parent, a lonely parent, a parent who cannot give up but canot see how the hell I can carry on, another bank holiday weekend and I will not see nor speak to anyone unless I go to shops and I hate this life and so sorry for the woe is me post.
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I am seriously in a bad way, dont want to die but have forgot how to live.
21 replies
myhandle · 02/08/2008 01:16
OP posts:
NotDoingTheHousework ·
02/08/2008 10:13
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themildmanneredjanitor ·
02/08/2008 10:22
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themildmanneredjanitor ·
02/08/2008 19:33
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