What do i do? opinion s please!!!(4 Posts)
ok... after nearly two years my XP has finallty sorted himself out and decided that he wants to see our DS...this is what i had been hoping for. however he is now visiting regularly...again good, but he sat talking to me the other night and told me that he thinks we will get back together...obviously i said nothing like i had not just heard those words come out of his mouth. but now i am in a predicament...if i say nothing will never happen will he run off again. he left me when i was 5 and bit months pregnant, to follow another woman to london...we live in merseyside! and before this he has seen DS about 3 times.
i made my feeling clear when he came to see our DS the first time he came to see him after he was born...is this man deluded? iam i wrong in thinking that he could do the same thing again, and should i be worried that the only reason he came to see DS again is that he thinks that we will get back together?
what would anyone else do? anyone in the same or been in a similar situation?
yes. i took him back. he nearly destroyed us both. I am sorry but if they can do it once they can do it again. why would it have taken so long for him to come back. why now. and what stopped him for two years. by all means let him see your dcs but dont go there.
Ask him outright if he is only seeing dc to try and get back with you because you have moved on and the thought of getting back with him hadn't even entered your head as an option.
Keep things seperate. Can he not take your dc out for a walk or to the library/park/cafe instead of staying in with you? Get the barge pole out and keep him at least that far away from your emotionally. He needs to sort out the relationship with his child and be a father to him first and foremost. I think you are right to be wary, but equally he might have started having feelings for you again having spent time with you. Avoid that time together and the issue won't become a problem hopefully.
Gillybean... only thing is i would never let my DS out of my sight with him... he has bad history and no fixed address... plus my DS would not go anywhere without me.
yes made my feelings (or more so lack of) very clear last night, and the fact he was here to see his son and not me! he has been trying to sya and talk to me when DS has gone to bed, but i told him to get out last night as soon as DS's head had hit the pillow!
he said (on the way out of the door) that next time he wont mess things up... i told him he wasnt getting that chance, so am hoping that he will take the hint...although we are all going shopping on friday to buy Ds new clothes... in hindsight i should have just asked him to give me the money. but was not going to push it as this will be the 1st ever contribution he has made to his son...except for the rubber cheques that is!
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