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Having a 'sick of being a LP' day today

(63 Posts)
IllegallyBrunette Tue 15-Jul-08 09:53:46

Just that really.

It started last night when I sat having yet another conversation with myself.

I will never ever ever get used to the constant feeling of being alone, I just hate it too much.

copingvquietly Tue 15-Jul-08 09:55:43

snap.im ready to swing from the nearest tree today

IllegallyBrunette Tue 15-Jul-08 10:00:35

Well you are having a very rough time though from what I read, so are entitled to feel that way. No tree swinging though ok, you will get through it however hard it seems today.

I am just miserable for no good reason really.

isheisnthe Tue 15-Jul-08 10:28:23

me too - we are all ill in this house tho, me and both boys with tonsilitus, was up most of the night with them and now I am wnt someone to look after me - wonder if the cat could help sad

IllegallyBrunette Tue 15-Jul-08 11:11:32

Oh no, it is crap when you are all ill, everything just goes to pot doesn't it.

I am just so fed up of there being no one here, you know late at night when you suddenly think of something interesting to say, or something funny that happened, and there is no one there to tell.

isheisnthe Tue 15-Jul-08 11:36:46

I know, i guess its just getting used to it, this week I am feeling very resentful that he has his life doing what he wants when he wants and I am left here bringing up our children, he does very little to help and I know that as soon as they get to a more easier and fun age he will come swooping in splashing the cash - and I will become boring mummy who always says no

allgonebellyup Tue 15-Jul-08 11:40:27

ILLEGALLY - are you Nutty?

i am in the same boat, im sure we've chatted before.

I am trying to do things that excite me - applying for the final OU course of my degree which will mean i can apply for teacher training next year (whether i will enjoy teaching is a whole other matter!!!)
i am sure i will enjoy life more when i am working my guts out!
i do work at the moment buts its only nannying so not exactly sociable!

Also am totally broke but still trying to do up my house as nice as poss.
Plus we are lucky enough to be going away for 2 weeks abroad.
Youve been away already this summer, no?

IllegallyBrunette Tue 15-Jul-08 11:56:38

Yep I am nutty LOL.

Not been away yet, still got that to look forward to thank god.

I do have stuff planned, starting new course in Sept, possibly moving house etc etc, but today I just feel that I don't give a toss about any of it because I have no one to share it with accept the kids, and so what is the point.

I want to be able to talk over my day with someone over a glass of wine, watch a tv programme together, laugh at something the kids have done with someone, instead of being the only person in the house that does everything, all of the time.

prettyfly1 Tue 15-Jul-08 18:51:57

ooooooohhhhhhhh. illegally you sound like me. it would be so nice NOT to come home to the never ending excitement of the washing. the ironing. the bills. the hoovering. meal for one and thrilling eastenders. just a cuddle and a whinge or a laugh or even a walk after work with the boy. i can do all those things by myself but its so much nicer by myself. and not to be bad cop would be even better!

allgonebellyup Tue 15-Jul-08 18:57:56

but think of all the great things you can do - do the house up how you want, watch whatever you want on tv, listen to any music, leave the house a complete tip if you feel like it..

OverMyDeadBody Tue 15-Jul-08 19:00:15

I'm feeling like this too at the moment.

I have some major life decisions to make and just wish there was someone here to make the decisions with me, or at least talk through all the options together as a team.

I am hating all the restrictions I'm under too at the moment due to being a LP.

OverMyDeadBody Tue 15-Jul-08 19:01:37

and I completely identify with your last post Illegaly.

allgonebellyup Tue 15-Jul-08 19:16:11

Dont get me wrong, i get lonely as hell too. I miss sex a lot. i think i always will.

Plus having someone to have family days out with, heck, even wander round ikea with.

IllegallyBrunette Tue 15-Jul-08 19:25:19

Oh I long for a wander around Ikea.

Well two glasses of wine later, and I feel even worse than I did this morning.

At first all of the things you mentioned were great bellyup, watching what I liked, etc, but the novelty has well and truley worn off now, and I am just sick of of the whole thing.

IllegallyBrunette Tue 15-Jul-08 19:27:17

I have been single now for erm 2 and a half years i think and if i am honest, had I know i'd still be single now, i'd not have split with xp. Thats not to say I want him back because I don't, but I know if someone had told me that i'd still be single now, I'd have said 'no thanks, will stick with what I have then'.

Mhamai Tue 15-Jul-08 19:32:41

Any more room for another fed up lp? Part of me is thinking oh just snap out of it get your finger out, tidy up and you will feel better and yet the other half is going sod it all! I can relate to so many of the posts here.

IllegallyBrunette Tue 15-Jul-08 19:36:07

The more the merrier Mhamai.

The thought that I could spend years licing like this makes me feel evenm shittier. I am not big headed in the slightest, far from it, but even I never expected to still be single now.

If I am honest I thought that within 6mths I'd have met someone new, and be having a nice relationship and enjoying myself.

I am never going to meet anyone, I just know it.

prettyfly1 Tue 15-Jul-08 19:42:07

Me neither. how can i when every penny goes on childcare to go to work, sorting out a sitter is a nightmare and i dont have a great deal of time for hobbies. sniff

IllegallyBrunette Tue 15-Jul-08 19:44:43

Have noticed that nearly everyone who tells me 'you shouldn't need someone else to make you happy', already has someone.

If one more person says 'well, you never know whats round the corner', then I will smack them in the mouth.

I do know whats around the corner, it's more of the same crap.

Mhamai Tue 15-Jul-08 19:45:19

IllegallyBrunette, I know where your coming from. I haven't had a proper relationship for years. I'm not just saying this but I would never want to go back to what was ie lots of nasty messy dysfunctional crap.

Never say never to not having a relationship again though. I realise that what prevents me from having a decent relationship today is that I'm no longer prepared to put up with shi*.

I do miss curling up sometimes and as prettyfly1 said being the "bad cop" Sorry I'm probably making you feel worse. I just wish it wasn't an endless round of bloody housework and the buck stopping with moi.

Sorry but just have an urge to...................................................Arggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg ggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhh!

Feels a bit better actually, wanna do one yourself? smile

Mhamai Tue 15-Jul-08 19:47:20

Arse, I don't mean I miss being a bad cop, I mean I'm tired of being one. Hold on.......................Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! grin

Think there should be a daily Arghhhhhhhhh thread option.

IllegallyBrunette Tue 15-Jul-08 19:48:01

Not sure I can be arsed LOL.

God I stil have a wedding full of happy couples to go to aswell, what fun, makes me wanna shoot myself and put myself out of my misery.

LongLiveGreenElizabeth Tue 15-Jul-08 19:49:05

If you think loneliness is going to be a long term issue for you (and who could blame you) then could you move to a house with a bigger bedroom and take in a lodger. Obviously it would be ideal if you had a friend who would appreciate living with a friend.......... or foreign students. Mature ones?

IB, I also don't think I'm going to meet somebody new. I just think, well, I didn't meet the right person when I was in my 20s with no kids, it aint gonna happen now! I never even meet anybody who isn't married, so there's just no chance. None. Aint on the cards., BUT............ I am more at peace with it. Sometimes I think it would be nice. But it is the conformity of being part of a couple that appeals a little. It's when I feel the odd one out that I feel a bit envious and left out and sorry for myself. I don't feel lonely tg. What I'd really like is my own home!

IllegallyBrunette Tue 15-Jul-08 19:51:46

That is exactly it elizabeth, you just hit the nail on the head. When I was single, attractive and childless, I ended up with xp, so now i am older, less attractive and have 3 kids I have absolutly no chance basically.

A lodger wouldn't be any good tbh, as it is not being part of a couple that makes me the most lonely. Plus, I may be about to move to a smaller house, so no good anyway.

tiredemma Tue 15-Jul-08 19:51:49

Dont be so hard on yourself Emma, its not as if you are in the position to find someone new- You are hardly propped up a bar each weekend eyeing up suitable dates!

If you got out and about more socially, im sure that you could have your pick of men.

There is someone out there for you- you just have to find him!!

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