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Child welfare hearing - advice please!

(7 Posts)
MeAndMyGirl Mon 14-Jul-08 12:53:13

Hi. Have split from ex due to him being violent. Had to get exclusion order to remove him from our home and my dd and I were technically homeless for 8 weeks as he refused to get out. He had access visits to daughter 3hrs on Saturday which broke down due to his unreliability. He returned her wet one day in her own urine. Most of the time he was violent to me my dd was in the room or i was holding her.
he is now taking it to family courts for access to her - am terrified of facing him again and also how he manipulates everything to his advantage. although know is for access only, am terrified of losing my dd.
does anyone have any experience of access being denied in their favour; or any advice/help they can give me?

shelleylou Mon 14-Jul-08 13:25:41

The courts will look at what is best for your dd. How old is she? Have you got police reports of his violence or doctors notes if you went hospital and if so do any of them state about your daughter being helkd or in the room? Was she ever hurt due to this

alice30 Mon 14-Jul-08 19:29:01

Hi I'm in a similar position. My ex was violent which was recorded in my medical notes, he has a 25 year cannabis problem, and has spent a short time in a psychiatric ward (drug induced psychosis). He hasn't seen dd for 2 years obviously because of the above. I too am terrified he will eventually be granted unsupervised contact.
Have you got a lawyer? Try & find one used to dealing with situations like yours. Oppose contact if you are at all concerned he could harm your dd. He will most likely initially be allowed supervised contact in a contact centre. If you allow unsupervised contact now that is the starting point the court will move from. You really need to get good legal advice though. Keep a diary. How long since he has seen her? The fact that access broke down due to his unreliability will go against him in court.
I know how you feel-it's a horrible situation but you must protect your daughter-it's your duty & right & pay no attention to anyone who may suggest you are being obstrutive. Domestic violence in the presence of a child is now seen as child abuse (or so I am told)

beautox Thu 17-Jul-08 18:47:30

My x was emotionally abusive. Split 4 years ago, access was reasonable until he started mistreating them. He took me to court recently insisting on cafcas getting involved, it took the welfare officer less than 45 minutes with 2 children to recommend that there be no contact!

Katrinadorisdunn Wed 17-Jun-09 09:48:29

*help please*.. i split with my sons father almost 2 years ago. He had a new girlfriend on the go. I only found this out when my then 6 year old son came home from an overnight stay to say he had woken up in bed with dad and his new girlfriend playing hunt the rabbit under the duvet! needless to say i stopped contact, as when i confronted the father he told me my son had lied.

He told another friend of mine that it shouldnt have happened and admitted he was an idiot, he also told another friend that she didnt turn up til morning therefore it didnt happen. My son wakes up between 530 AND 630 every morning so this was another hard to beleive story.

He has regular daytime access as I beleive even he can hold out til evening before resuming sexual activities.

He is now taking me to court for overnight access and has involved cafcass. The woman from cafcass has told me that he WILL get overnight as all the above is hearsay.

He and the woman he slept with with my son in bed have just had a baby without telling me. I found out this sunday, and my son had not been given any build up to the birth or any proper discussions as his father had told him to keep it from me. My son is now 8.

Every safety rule I have made, the father has broken and I am so frustrated that no-one is listening to my concerns.

cestlavielife Wed 17-Jun-09 11:41:31

see a solicitor and put that you want supervised access only at a contact centre.

GypsyMoth Wed 17-Jun-09 11:56:02

Without welfare issues he will get contact. If you want supervised, then you explain why. Sorry, but I don't think there are any from your post.

The bed thing was 2 years ago. He has a committed relationship and your son now has a half sibling.

Contact us about your sons right to have a relationship with his dad. Because it's been a while, a relationship needs to be rebuilt. This is likely to happen, building up to overnights. I'm going through it all myself, so realize it's difficult for you.

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