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Please tell me that leaving your dc(s) gets easier

(5 Posts)
mylittlepudding Thu 10-Jul-08 18:33:00

exP and I split 2 months ago. He has had her for one two night weekend and one one night weekend so far. Today (incidentally my birthday) she has gone for four nights. Admittedly I am working night shifts for three of those - I know he is helping me out, not taking her away. But saying good bye to my lovely girl (18 months) hurts so much. That he asked to have for for an extra night, and that it's my birthday - I am glad he is interested, but tonight I just hurt. I want my girl. I feel like saying 'sod my career and my out of hours commitments and my determination to be fair and nice to exP when he wants to see her'. I know it's just because it hurts.

Am I a sad fool with nothing in my life? I don't think so, as have loads planned for the few days. But please tell me this gets better?? I can't imagine feeling much worse.

bignutbrownhare Thu 10-Jul-08 18:54:27

It's early days yet so please don't despair. IMO it does get a little bit easier (am 6 months down the line) but then xp only has dd for relatively few hours a week and not overnights. You are doing all the right things MLP, filling your time when your dd is with her dad, and not restricting his access because of how you feel, so be proud of yourself for that. And you obviously trust your xp to look after your dd properly, so you're in a good position in that respect. Just keep telling yourself that she's happy, secure and loved with her dad, they're building a relationship that's so important for her, and most of all, that she will be coming home to you soon for major kisses and cuddles.

lostdad Thu 10-Jul-08 20:14:26

It's been 16 months now since my son was taken from me. It hasn't got easier.

It hurts just as much.

bignutbrownhare Thu 10-Jul-08 20:23:22

Lostdad, I really feel for you in your situation but it's not the same as the op's.

shelleylou Thu 10-Jul-08 20:28:31

It does get easier. You will start to plan ahead for when xp is having your dd and enjoying her more when she comes back. Im 11 months down the line from my split with ex and each time he was away from me it got easier. Although i havent had a night away from ds for 3 months now so i may well be back at square one so to speak if he does go to his dads again.

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