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Why does he not leave me alone?? Arrrgggghhhh!!!!

(12 Posts)
fedupofbeingfedup Tue 08-Jul-08 19:16:36

Cut a long story short, was with my ex, split with him when I was pregnant with our son, that was 4 and a half years ago, we've continued seeing eachother on and off although now hes married I've called an end to it, but anyway, he drives me mad, hes tried every trick in the book, hes done the " i really wanna shag you" approach, hes also done the " i realise I still love you approach", neither of which I have fell for recently and now hes clutching at straws and today has used the " when u wanted me you had me, so why cant i have you now I want you" approach.

This guy is driving me crazy, he has been sent by someone I have done wrong by in a previous life I swear.

FabioTheWhisperingCat Tue 08-Jul-08 19:18:02

Tell him you don't fancy married men.
And threaten to tell his wife.

fedupofbeingfedup Tue 08-Jul-08 19:19:38

Done that already, but he knows I wont cos he knows I really dont need the hassle it would bring at the moment, got alot of other things stressing me out and he knows I wont want that kind of stress.

fedupofbeingfedup Tue 08-Jul-08 19:23:27

I really wish I could just get my kids and move to some other part of the country sometimes, its getting that bad. This guy is relentless.

Anyway, onwards and upwards, I will keep doing what I'm doing and ignore him.

Just needed a moan. grin

bignutbrownhare Tue 08-Jul-08 21:37:19

'he has been sent by someone I have done wrong by in a previous life I swear'. PMSL at that Fedup. Think my xp comes from the same pocket in time! I often wish I could take dd and move to a farmhouse in Italy with no forwarding address. Good on you for being so strong and telling the fecker where to get off.

fedupofbeingfedup Wed 09-Jul-08 11:42:48

I still love him, he however just lusts me! Yesterday, he knocked on out of the blue and me and my son were in bed building bionicles cos it was his birthday on the 7th, he came upstairs because our son wanted him to help build bionicles and he sat on my bed, with our son in the middle and helped.

Now I know he did this because he knows that I, even though I would never have him back, like our son to have moments like that with his mum and dad as they rarely happen, but if you are still with me, he did it because he thought it would soften me up and I would as a result give in and sleep with him, thus two hours later I got a text from him asking me if I would.

WHAT AN ARSE!!!!!!!!!! hmm

bignutbrownhare Wed 09-Jul-08 14:43:17

Exactly the same here, I still love him (although to borrow from the Kaiser Chiefs - every day I love him less and less). He just wants a shag. 'You're still the most beautiful woman I've ever met' blah blah blah 'What's wrong with us sleeping together when we're so good at it' blah blah blah. He needs neutering wink

littlewoman Wed 09-Jul-08 14:55:05

He keeps on and on because he's not convinced you mean no.

madamez Wed 09-Jul-08 15:00:17

He thinks he's irresistable and no woman could ever not want to sleep with him.
Of course, you could try 'I didn;t mind your crapness in bed when I was in love with you, but now we're not together I'd rather hold out for someone who's good at sex.'

Unfortunately, if you still 'love' him then perhaps at some level you are sending out 'maybe' signals rather than 'Eww, I'd rather suck off Jeremy Clarkson'.
His poor current DW though. Bear in mind that she might make a good friend for you when she throws him out some time in the near future because you will have this dimwitted cockhound in common...

bignutbrownhare Wed 09-Jul-08 15:07:52

I've tried the 'unlike you, I'm not completely shallow and don't do sex without love' approach, the 'shouldn't you have more respect for me as our dd's mother' approach, and I still get texts saying 'fancy a shag?'. I routinely ignore them, but one day I'm going to text back 'Just this minute had one thanks' grin

fedupofbeingfedup Wed 09-Jul-08 22:35:45

bignutbrownhare.......'Just this minute had one thanks'......I like it! I may use that one if you dont mind!!

littlewoman...I think you are right, I must give out signals that dont convince him I mean what I say, but its really hard to pretend I am not still totally in love with him and that I'd like nothing more than to sleep with him, especially because we used to have amazing sex!!

I am hoping he will one day soon give up....but at the moment its looking bleak. I keep saying to him " go and shag your wife, thats what shes there for" and he just says "eww, no thanks", so I am at a loss as to how to get this to stop, apart from to practise in the mirror my really convincing "I dont love you anymore" face!

bignutbrownhare Wed 09-Jul-08 23:05:03

Fedup, of course you can use it, but only when it's true, which it will be at some point, even if you don't believe it now. I think the fact that he's being nasty about his wife is keeping you hoping, but keep this in mind, after you split up, he *married someone else*. The fact that he's treating her with such little respect now reflects on him being a knobjockey and a poor excuse for a man, not his feelings for you. Has he said he's made the worst mistake of his life and he wants to be with you and your dc/s (?) forever and will do anything to achieve that? No? Then clear him out of your life and your mind. Nothing (and nobody) good will come to you when you have this blockage (him) in your life. Sorry if that sounds harsh, it's not meant to. But there is better for you out there than him and you need to be open to it. Oh, and the amazing sex thing - I guarantee it won't be so amazing the next morning when he goes back to the wife, you'll feel used and stupid. Stay strong xxx

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