i have known this person for nearly 6 years. we've been a bit on/off for that period of time until about 2 years ago when he got with someone else. during the last 12 months i have managed to convince myself i no longer had feelings for him. i really didn't think i did. last september i started seeing someone - it didn't work out though - and if i ever fantasised about a man or thought about a man it wasn't him. a few times he'd asked me if he wasn't with his gf would i want anything to happen between us and i honestly answered no. i told him things had changed, there was too much history, water under the bridge etc i was happy with our new friend status and wouldn't want to ruin that. i really thought i was over him.
however a month or so ago i was talking to his gf and she was telling me things weren't going great, he'd gone round europe for a month without her and was also going away on holiday with his family and hadn't invited her along. whilst i was sympathetic to her i was secretly thinking hmmmm perhaps they might end up splitting up. i was shocked at myself being happy about this but dismissed it and just thought i was being stupid.
then yesterday i found out he was going to be moving away. then last night i was reading a book which was a bit emotional and i started crying. then i realised i was no longer crying about the book but crying about the fact he was moving away. then crying because i missed him. then crying because i realised i did still have feelings for him and had obviously been hiding them.
he spoke to me again today and he asked me again would i do anything if he wasn't with his gf. i said probably. then i could feel myself wanting to tell him i still had feelings for him so i made myself come on mn to distract myself
i don't understand why when i was honestly over him all these feelings have come back!!
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don't you hate it when you convince yourself that you are over someone and realise you're really not??
15 replies
nappyaddict · 08/07/2008 00:39
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