do you ever feel let down by your own family, too?

[dora101]

hi all,
this is to single mums or dads who cant get any support from their own families.
this thought is going on my head for a long time.
maybe we had bad relations which ended (we never wanted, nobody wants that) but i believe our families should be beside us. i think thats families are for.
maybe because of them we had such wrong relations in the first place; because of their lack of interest on us.
while being lone parent thats the thing that most breaks my heart.
i know i had a bad partner, he is bad thats why he isnt bothered about his child, but how about my family?
is it so hard for them to ask how we are doing, is it so hard for them to say some encouraging/supporting words to their own child/sister/etc...
i find this hard to understand.
i couldnt even do it to a stranger, if i see someone/friend hurt/unhappy i would like to support them as much as i could do.
sometimes i think if i were in a better position they would be chasing me.
but that hurts really....

[PurpleOne]

hi dora

i know it's late but there are some of us here.

just wanted you to know that your not the only one. i last spoke to my parents last august.
i am single too, so ita just me and dd's.

the only way of support i got from my parents was generally emotional blackmail. and, tbh, i feel so much better not having them in my life.

dont have any siblings either.

am off to bed right now though, but just wanted to let you know, you are not alone.

[LittleBella]

Yes all the time.

I think you just have to learn not to expect anything of them, then you won't be disappointed or feel let down, because you didn't expect anything in the first place.

And yes, quite often there is a correlation between the level of support you receive from your family and the state of your emotional health which led you into a relationship ending in lone parenthood to begin with.

But that is for you to examine and gain some insight about, so that you don't repeat any damaging patterns from your own family, with your own DC.

Good luck!

[Nighbynight]

Yes, I am in this situation too, have lost touch with my family.

[dora101]

where are the family values then?

[SparklePrincess]

My family dont give a sh1t either. Both my parents are alcoholics who have never been there for me. Most of the time you just deal with it, but at times like this when im going through a horrendous time it would be nice to have some support. Its so difficult being alone & doing everything the whole time.

[copingvquietly]

my familt dont bother with me eithr.just me and my baby and yes its fuckign hard

[Tortington]

are you pissed CVQ?

[SparklePrincess]

Dont blame her if she is.

[Tortington]

don't you?

[AMAZINWOMAN]

My family don't help me either. I was emotionally abused as a child, so I have never been close to them, nor have they ever been there for me. I don't know any difference really.

As for family values, I'm determined that my children have the opposite upbringing to my childhood. And I set new family values too.
Can you do the same?

Dora, you sound a lovely, caring, compassionate woman, and your children will be happy too as you sound a lovely, caring Mum.

I also think my family would show more interest if I was in a better position too.

[MorocconOil]

dora- I have similar 'ishoos' to you and have been using the 'We took You TO Stately Homes' Thread to get some support. You may find it helpful.. Sorry I can't do links.

[dora101]

thanks to all of you, its nice to share feelings.
thanks AMAZINWOMAN for your nice words, really.
SparklePrincess, if mine were alcoholics i wouldnt be so upset, because there is a reason that they cant give support, but still understand you and feel for you.
my dc's father is also alcoholic which i realised very late.
my family are not in a bad position, they travel, etc.
but it seems like they stay clear of us.
when i try to accept them as it is the world seems to me so lonely place.
i feel like if i had the little bit support of them i could feel more motivated for everything.