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Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Lone parents

Thinking about moving away!

46 replies

lozzawoo · 30/01/2005 20:06

I am thinking about moving away as I am a single parent and his father doesnt see him rarly maybe once a week and never pays maintenance. He has told me if I go he will stop me. What rights does he have to do that & if I go what parental right will he have to my son. We were not married. Please help!!

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ebbie22 · 30/01/2005 20:08

But what about your son,wont he miss his Daddy?how old is he?

pinkdiamond · 30/01/2005 20:08

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pinkdiamond · 30/01/2005 20:10

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lozzawoo · 30/01/2005 20:22

My little boy is nearly two and doesnt really know his dad he might see him for 2 hours but prefers to put himself first and his friends I live in the UK & would only be moving an hour away. He is no good for my son always lets him down saying he will come then doesnt like today and ignores u. So when my son is older dont want him letting him down. Is that a bad thing? Please help!

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romantick · 30/01/2005 20:22

maintence all comes to down to how much he earns.if it is less than £100 csa will not chase as he needs to live on money.

pinkdiamond · 30/01/2005 20:27

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lozzawoo · 30/01/2005 20:27

he earns a 100 a week but why should I always have to do all the work he brought him into the world as well

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lozzawoo · 30/01/2005 20:29

Hi Pinkdiamond!

I told him to stop letting him down and he said he wont but today he did it again. Have u ever had a court situation??

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pinkdiamond · 30/01/2005 20:29

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pinkdiamond · 30/01/2005 20:34

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lozzawoo · 30/01/2005 20:39

no Pinkdiamond he just says he will stop me.

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lozzawoo · 30/01/2005 20:41

He tries to control me so if I start to get to know anyone he makes sure he breaks it for me but when in a relationship himself I keep out of it and I have just had enough

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pinkdiamond · 30/01/2005 20:43

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lozzawoo · 30/01/2005 20:47

Sorry Pinkdiamond did do two slots just incase people dont come to this subject lol...
I think it would be best but I dont think he would bother coming to see him I would have to take him there. He doesnt drive and would not put himself out neither

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lozzawoo · 30/01/2005 20:47

Which is good but I might be wrong

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tammybear · 30/01/2005 20:48

If your ds was born before December 03, I believe it is, then your ex doesnt have parental responsibility, and even if he did, it wouldnt stop you from moving an hour away. Only if you were leaving the country. He should be paying maintenance. Sounds like he's trying to control you so everything goes his way, and he can do what he likes. You have to think what's best for you and your ds, and it'll be up to your ex to come to see ds. My ex lives 3 hours away, and although I have problems with him, and contact isn't always stable, he does try to come (oh good god listen to me being nice about exp!)

lozzawoo · 30/01/2005 20:50

Thanks Tammybear! we all seem to be nice with ex's I am too much cause I am soft but he is ruining my life

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pinkdiamond · 30/01/2005 20:51

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lozzawoo · 30/01/2005 20:53

How come he does not have any parental responsibily before December 03 Tammybear?

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tammybear · 30/01/2005 20:54

I know what you mean, even though i hate exp, i always seem to still consider his bloody feelings. It's easy enough saying we won't let our ex's ruin our life, but it's not always easy. My ex doesn't drive either, relies on his parents, and got the bus once lol. If you did move, your ex shouldn't rely on you to go back and forth everytime he wants to see ds. It'll be up to him to make the effort, if he wants to play a role in ds's life. And if he doesn't drive, I'm sure he could probably find some other way around it like trains or buses, depending on where you're moving to.

tammybear · 30/01/2005 20:56

PD - he comes probably every 3 weeks, as it depends on his work and his parents work as he relies on them to bring him down. hes hoping to pass his driving test, and i have said maybe in the summer when dd and exp have a better relationship as dd currently hides when he comes, he could have her up there for a couple of nights

lozza - in dec 03, the government brought in a law that fathers get parental responsibility when named on birth certificate even if theyre not married to mother, but before, the fathers had to be married to the mother to get PR

lozzawoo · 30/01/2005 20:58

That's great! I just feel so down with the whole situation. Did u have to go through the courts??

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tammybear · 30/01/2005 21:01

No, exp did go through a phase where he use to threaten me that he would get PR, but at the end of the day, it doesnt change much, just gives him the right to a say in education, names, religion, medical treatment and going abroad. In fact, Id probably agree to it, so if anything ever happened to dd when she was with him, and needed to go hospital for example, then they wouldnt have to wait around for me to turn up to say yeah okay do whatever! He use to think with PR he could just come and get dd whenever he liked without my consent. Puh! He still doesnt have it now, after all that lol. He just couldnt be bothered to go through with it

lozzawoo · 30/01/2005 21:09

I just hope it is the same with me. My ex might influence my son as he is older. My ex has a lot of problems and although I would love him to keep in contact I dont want my son to be hurt. He is a recovering alcoholic, smokes which is not good for my son, recovered from drugs the lot and I dont know whether the court would see it my way or waver it if it ever was to come to that

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pinkdiamond · 30/01/2005 21:10

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