Kids away again, but i'm feeling slightly better about it this week

[IllegallyBrunette]

Probably because I am tired and want some peace LOL.

Nothing planned for tonight, and not even any wine, but nevermind.

Off to Asda for a child free mooch around tomorow morning

I'm still bored, but when aren't I ?

[ANTagony]

In fairness it took me about 6 months before I started to make practical use of my few hours on my own each week! Give yourself a chance and build up to doing things that are for you without feeling guilty.

If it has to be a mooch round Asda at least stop in the coffee shop with a magazine and enjoy a muffin.

Remember its your time to indulge you. You need and deserve to put yourself first even if for a few hours each week.

[IllegallyBrunette]

I can't do coffe on my own, I feel like such a loner. Have never ever in my entire life, gone into a cafe, coffe shop, Macdonalds or anywhere and eaten or drunk for that matter on my own.

[ChasingSquirrels]

mine are with their dad wed evening - sat evening this week. I woke up this morning and missed them with a pyhsical ache.
wed evening they didnt go till 7pm and i didnt do anything, worked thu morning then went to see a show in London with my mum in the afternoon/evening, woke up naturally this morning, then turned over and went back to sleep , went to work around mid-day then out to a work leaving do this evening.
I wouldn't do coffee on my own either! Where abouts are you?

[mummyfantastico]

It's been 8 months now for me, and although I still don't like it when my dds go to xh and ow I am getting used to it. It doesn't help when dd2 (5) asks if they can come home to sleep
I try to make sure I'm working the nights he has them or have a night out with friends, and during the days he has them i make sure i do something for myself, like a big gym session or going clothes shopping.

[charliecat]

How long has he got them for?
Are you still needing to sort out bits of your decorating? This is the perfect time to get it sorted no interrupting, music blaring, bet you wuld get loads done.

[gillybean2]

If you don't like the idea of coffee on your own how do you feel about visiting the library on your own? Find ways of getting yourself out even if just for a short time. Even just sorting out the shopping on your own can be less stressful and gets you out of the house.

Do you have a dog? If not what about a friend who has a dog you can 'borrow' to take for a walk, or a local rescue center who could use an occasional dog walker? Feels better than going for a walk on your own!

Do you have any interests or hobbies that have gone by the by since you became a mum? Lots of sewing circles, quilting groups, music groups, book clubs, scrabble clubs, bridge clubs and painting groups out there is you look. If not how about trying one out. Most of the people who go along to such things go along as individuals or have many individual memebers.

Just some thoughts

Glad you're feeling better this time. It will get easier each time and in a few months time when the children are settled and understand the arrangement more you will really be able to enjoy your 'me' time.

Take care
Gilly

[IllegallyBrunette]

Morning.

He has them from about 4pm on a Friday night until aound 1pm on a Saturday.

At the mo I feel like I am just wasting the Friday nights, because I just either sit here on mn, or watch tv.

The Sat mornings aren't so bad. I'm going to pop to Asda when I get my arse off this chair and have a quick bath LOL.

I do go to the Library on my own, but obviously can't do that on a Friday evening. There is no way i'd go to any sort of class alone either.

We don't have a dog no, it is something I am considering actually, but as I am job hunting, It wouldn't be fair to get a dog until I knew how long I would be out of the house every day.

Looking at the state of my house, I should of done housework last night

[gillybean2]

You should NOT have done the house work last night. It would only be one day sooner that you will have to do it again! You could have done it that's for sure, but far better to take some time out and relax. Mn and tv are perfect. Certainly not wasted time. Think of it as time to relax and de-stress and worth every second!

Just out of interest why can't you do library on a friday evening? Our local library isn't open late on a friday, but several of the others nearby are open until 7pm on a friday.

And if you don't feel up to going out and joining a group why not do whatever hobby or interest you enjoy at home anyway. Make friday night your night to spend an hour making greeting cards or decoupage or rug making or any one of these things that i get leaflets in the mail for all the time and wonder who has time for such things!

I bought some blank coaster tiles from yellowmoon.org recently and for the children at the art group I run at school. A friend and I had great fun one afternoon checking out how easy it was, how long the paint would take to dry etc but more importantly letting our creative talent (or lack of in my case) run wild for an hour or so!

You'll find something to fill your time very fast, in the mean time enjoy having the remote to yourself and being able to have a long bath in the morning without interuptions!

Take care
Gilly

[ChasingSquirrels]

Lots of good ideas from Gilly, I am certainly going to follow some of them up. My problem is that I don't have any hobbies, and the things I enjoy are reasonably solitary (reading, small groups of people). I was pretty much happy in the life I had, and now have to make another one - and involve more people in my life.
I would go to a class alone, just need to find something that interests me.
Gilly - did you see my post on the new man post about Elveden CP? Just read a write up in Red magazine about someone going and it wa £1k for a 3 day weekend - ekk.

[gillybean2]

I didn't see that no, but will go look for it in a sec.

CP can cost a lot but can also be pretty reaonable if you work it out per person and budget it properly. If you have that kind of money then spend it for sure. But you can also get some very good late deals. They have chalets in june for a weekend on very reasonable rates at the moment. (eg only £279 for a 3 bed executive chalet sleeping 6 at Elvedon weekend of 9th June).

I thought I got a really good deal this time, and then another single mum I met there had waited till 2 weeks to go and got an even better deal! I will always wait for a very late deal in future.

Plus you don't have to do all the extras. We didn't eat out. I spent £20 on shopping for us for the weekend, splurged by spending another £30 in icecream sundaes, hot chocs and in the sweetie shop. We did the treasure hunt and hired a peddalo which were cheapish. Hiring bikes means you can spend time cycling around the place as an activity, but you can always bring your own if you don't want to pay for them.

We did a couple of other activities (well my son did) which are on the slightly expensive side imo, but would probably only pick one activity to do next time as we aere rushing around and only went swimming late in the evening on three of the days .

One recommendation though... The bread in the shop isn't cheap, so I recommend bringing several cheap loaves as you'll be feeding the ducks and squirrels most of it!

Will go try and find your otehr post now
Gilly

[ChasingSquirrels]

hmm, that sounds alot better. I have never spent lots of money on expensive holidays anyway - we would do something reasonable we enjoyed, and that was before I split when we had alot of money. Not that I am had-up now, but I wouldn't even consider spending £1k on a weekend.
dc2 is only 2, and I think CP is a bit old for him yet, but will certain keep late bookings in mind for the future when he is a bit older. Elevden is less than an hour, so would be an ideal break.

[IllegallyBrunette]

Blimey Asda on a Saturday is mad, had foergotten about that LOL.

I got too much as usual too, and struggled to carry it home. Got the kids some clothes for the holiday

[gillybean2]

Aren't you glad you had to battle through that without the kids in tow to worry about as well!

Asda's kids clothes are excellent and very good value I find. Must nip in there and get my son some new jeans and shorts! adds to the todo list

[IllegallyBrunette]

There was actually a good choice for boys this time too, which is rare.

I got Ds a Mr Man t'shirt which he will absolutly love as he loves them at the mo.

[ChasingSquirrels]

ds1 has lived in asda (or tesco) jeans for a couple of years. I go every month or so on the way home from work, our local tesco is crap so it is good to have a browse through the other things, also like going to the tesco extra.
Not long until they are back now IB.

[gillybean2]

My son is very much into reading Mr Men books too now, he's already got a list of all the ones he hasn't got for santa...

Don't suppose the Mr Men t-shirt is in a size that will fit him though!? Probably in their younger children's range. Seems that when they get over 6 they are expected to dress like little men. And why is almost everything in boys clothes navy blue or khaki?!

[IllegallyBrunette]

How old is he ??
The largest size they had was 5-6. Infact they only had 5-6.

Ds is 5, but only in 3-4 or 4-5 in Asda stuff normally. Got it anyway though.

[gillybean2]

Well I went into our local asda yesterday and couldn't find any Mr Men t-shirts anywhere

He's 9 but only 130cm tall so wears anything from a size 7 upwards depending on the actual fit and garment.

That's a shame. I'll try an online search I guess as I saw someone on tv (adult) wearing a Mr Happy t-shirt the other day so they must be out there somewhere!

Gilly

[lucylue]

its good to have a little bit of me time.
i'm with dd for 7 years now non-stop.
when i'm ill, its hard.
he hasnt seen her dad 5 years now.
i just would like somebody to take her to park somewhere.

[gillybean2]

Know how you feel Lucylue. Been 9.5 years for me now and his dad has never seen him.

In that time I've even resorted to taking time off work just to do housework. Me time is non existant save for when a close friend will have my son maybe once a month or so after school. I make the most of every second of it!

Getting there one day at a time. Hope you are too.
Gilly

[lucylue]

its nice to hear similar feelings gillybean2.
thanks for your words and wishes.