Ungrateful rant about Christmas prezzies from xp

[Caligulights]

OK, so I'm very ungrateful. This morning the Xmas parcel arrived from xp and his mother. It contains 2 nice new pullovers the wrong size and smelling of smoke, a couple of packets of chocolate money, a couple of packets of sweets, and a big bag of marbles, which I've removed as I'd rather not take the risk of DD (2 and a half) choking to death on one of them.

Why don't people consult parents about xmas presents? Why is a bag of marbles a good present for a 2 year old? Is it too much to ask that you don't keep children's clothes in a smokey atmosphere? Am I the xp / ex DIL from hell? Can I get any more ungrateful if I try? Should I ring up and say thank you?!

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

[StuffTheMagicTurkey]

I can understand you feeling fed up on this one - I've received the odd parcel of clothes that stink of fags and its not nice. Plus marbles for a 2 year old .......... hmmmm, less than thoughtful.

[feastofstevenmom]

yep, they are a bit duff, but yep, you're going to have to thank them through gritted teeth.

[TwasTheNightBeforeXmasOwl]

weve had at least 25 cheap radio controlled cars from ds's dad and his family over the past 5 1/2 years...i feel like steering one of them up his ar*e sometimes. know the feeling so well but grit my teeth and thank them. grrrrrrrrrrr! so thoughtful (not). youre not ungrateful...thought should go into presents!

[TwasTheNightBeforeXmasOwl]

oh and hey...i wanna bet with someone that they buy him another this year! let you know!

[Caligulights]

I still haven't phoned to thank them. I know I should, but frankly I dread speaking to MIL and I don't really want to say thank you to xp because he is not paying the pitiful amount of maintenance he is supposed to. I'm not grateful, I don't want presents, I want xp to pay regular maintenance and pick up the phone to talk to his children and make the effort to come and see them.

I don't know why, but this year this bloody present has just made me so annoyed. Once a year these people remember they have children/ grandchildren (even on her birthday, xp didn't remember to send DD a card), and I'm supposed to be grateful and good mannered? Can someone please tell me why I should bother? Is there a good reason?

[KristmasBear]

The only good reason is perhaps to rise above it and show your kids the right way to behave by sending a thank you letter. It must be infuriating for you but be smug and self satisfied for being a fantastic parent yourself and don't let it get you down.

x

[Caligulights]

Plucked up courage to phone while I was feeling efficient and organised. Had a nice chat with poor old ex MIL, who seems to have decided that I'm the Virgin Mary personified. XP is not around, so did not have to speak to him. Bonus!

S'been a good day so far!

[Christmaslistmaker]

Well at least you get something I suppose.I've had nothing at all from my exp or his family for 4 years now - not even a card. As he was the one who left after an affair and I had done nothing wrong not sure why even his parents are blanking us! Oh well!

p.s. no maintenance for 2.5 years either!

[Caligulights]

They probably feel awkward and torn, CLM. My xMIL hasn't phoned me all year (since DD's birthday in April, so she missed DS's), because she's afraid it will be perceived as disloyalty by her son.

She may also feel that her phone call will not be welcome. (Which tbh, it isn't - not that I'd ever be rude to her or anything, I just feel awkward and uncomfortable talking to her - it's not really as if we ever had a brilliant relationship, we hardly ever saw each other.) It's so hard for the in-laws when people break up, they're intensely aware of the danger of treading on everyone's toes.

Disgusting that your xp doesn't bother. The outrage is that if he suddenly decided he wanted to stroll back into your life and his children's, he'd be given full contact rights. Then he could stroll back out again when he got bored.