Any tips for dealing with the aftermath of a toddler's "play" as a single parent of 2?
She is at home with me 2 days mon-fri as I work part-time. Today has been horrendous. Between the school runs, she has made a bomb site of the garden, conservatory, lounge, hallway and 3 bedrooms. Toys everywhere. Shoes taken from the shoe rack in the hall and thrown everywhere. Her pyjama drawer emptied. Clothes everywhere. Her sister's Barbie Dream House contents- everywhere.
Finished cooking dinner and eating, exhausted after she was up in the night and I just want to cry. She's grumpy anf tired and refuses to help me tidy up all her mess (she's 34 months).
Eldest DC is playing on his tablet happily- he's no bother but I'm finding no time to read or do spellings with him.
Try to do lots of activities during the day with her but the minute my back is turned when I'm doing washing, making lunch, she's feral and completely bull dozes the house.
When Ex DH was here until recently, one of us would get her to tidy up with us whilst the other did homework with DC1, we then shared the bed times, one child each.
But on my own, it's horrific. Just put DC2 to bed and I'm falling asleep on my bed trying to muster up the energy to read Harry Potter to DC1.
Guessing it will get easier as DC2 gets older and she eventually starts school. I've thought about working more hours to give me a bit of head space too.
But what do I do in the mean time? Sometimes, I think she's going to finish me off!
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My toddler is ransacking my house- exhausted!
Singleslummy · 29/03/2021 19:45
No advice but my younger DS whos almost 2 is also like this and I feel like my older DS is missing out because of it.
I understand the exhaustion of it. 
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I would make her help to tidy it up, however grumpy she is. At nearly 3 she is old enough to understand not to pull everything out of cupboards.
Could you shut doors/put up baby gates so that there are areas she can’t access?
for you.
This sounds really hard for you, no wonder you're exhausted.
I think you need to set different standards and expectations around her play, talk about them with her and stick to them.
Before my ex moved out, he became quite ill and I went through a similar change myself, where I'd have to be responsible for doing bedtime etc alone with 3 small DCs and realised that I couldn't just count on cleaning up later (or someone else doing it).
Things that help:
It takes a few weeks to set this, but she needs to learn how to tidy up before starting something new. You can turn the tidying up into an activity, or if it's a big mess we pile it all into a heap and set a song via Alexa (my older ones like the 'tidy up rumba' as they use it at school, but can be anything high energy!) and see if you can dance while you do it and put things properly away by the end of the song. If you can get the older ones involved (with bribery if necessary 
this will become much easier)
Max of 2 items out at once (e.g. Barbies and a puzzle, if she then wants to get out Lego, one of the others has to go away). Again, this takes some time, but when they know it's non-negotiable, they will do it
No dinner until the living area is clear (I do sometimes find weird things shoved under the sofa, but at least it looks nicer!)
Getting her involved with as many practical activities as possible. She's old enough to help with cooking, or sorting sock pairs in the laundry or dusting skirting boards, it will again take a bit longer but you'll save time and misery on tidying and she may enjoy it too
Sounds like you do lots of activities but does she get lots of exercise? I find that helps a bit.
Do you have high door handles / stair gates / other ways of keeping her within one zone? It's definitely harder once they want to roam!
Worst case, strategically timed TV. I had to do this with my very active dc2, with the others I'd use TV to have an occasional coffee break but with her it was my time to do stuff fast, which was a bit depressing but as you say, isn't forever
Can the older children help too? Even if they do some Duplo or dolls with her while you do something urgent, it will help and is good for their bond too.
Last one, might be a mindset thing... When you say she's 34 months, I wonder if in your head she's still a baby and not 'nearly 3', which most people would say? I have the same temptation with my youngest sometimes, and find it helps to think in year not monthly terms and to have realistic but high expectations, it will help you all.
I'm sure plenty of this you're doing, but hopefully something helps!
That sounds really exhausting, especially as a lone parent
She will need support as the general instruction to 'tidy up' doesn't mean anything at that age. You need to be specific. 'Put all the dolls into this yellow box' etc. Can you make it fun by putting on her favourite song and trying to get everything out away before the song finishes? My DD loves that.
Tidying is a chore even for adults, so a toddler will struggle too. We did have some refusal from DD when she was younger and we would tell her that anything left strewn on the floor must be rubbish, and might end up being hoovered, lost or thrown away. I know that sounds mean, but she soon stopped refusing. We thought it was important for her to understand that the if she doesn't look after/respect her things, then the natural consequence of that is that she might lose them.
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