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Flaky nrp. When to call it a day?

(9 Posts)
unicornsarereal72 Sun 06-Dec-20 19:49:38

We have been separated several years now. The first six month was consistent eow. Then It went down hill.

Eldest has gone non contact. They are old enough to make that decision

Youngest misses seeing nrp. Who has spent a total of 15 hours in the past six months with them.

Youngest broke their heart over it this week so nrp was informed. Finally messaged youngest and said they would see them this weekend. Only to be bumped off to a week night. For no reason.

I get no child support. And I got sick of covering up for this shit parent. So just tell the children I don't know. I have spent 2.5 years chasing them. Getting them out of bed and running the children round. And I said enough was enough in the summer. Nrp is free to contact/see the children whenever they just need to let me know when.

When do u draw a line and say enough. I'm sick of picking up the pieces. But it is the children's relationship with nrp is it my decision to stop contact?

OP’s posts: |
PegLegTrev Sun 06-Dec-20 19:51:27

What’s the point in stopping contact if it’s non existent anyway?

Have you contacted CMS for child support?

unicornsarereal72 Sun 06-Dec-20 19:54:12

Because my youngest is expecting him to step up and see them.

Yes case has been with cms for two years. When they caught up with him he went self employed. Moved between friends houses and changes phone number.

OP’s posts: |
PegLegTrev Sun 06-Dec-20 19:57:53

Your youngest will be disappointed either way - I think you’re just making yourself a scape goat if you allow it to be your decision. Your youngest will blame you.

KarmaNoMore Sun 06-Dec-20 19:58:29

You draw the line when contact becomes more painful and problematic than beneficial to the children.

And at that time you do NOT withhold contact, you just stop bending yourself backwards to accommodate the whims of the ex. Contact fizzles out soon after that.

I know this is difficult and quite sad for the contact to be reduced or disappear but much better than having their heart broken every other weekend or growing so angry with the NRP it hurts them.

unicornsarereal72 Sun 06-Dec-20 20:13:17

But that is the problem. It is the tantrum and tears I get when the promises fall through. They are young now but I think it is detrimental to their well being. But you are right. It isnt for me to draw the line. Just need to support the children to know that this isn't ok from someone who loves you.

OP’s posts: |
Givemeabreak88 Sun 06-Dec-20 21:08:09

I’ve just been through this and yes I did cut contact as it was doing more harm than good

unicornsarereal72 Mon 07-Dec-20 07:14:11

I just see on here some times. No dad is better than a rubbish one. See what next year brings. Maybe a new year will be a new start.

OP’s posts: |
forrestgreen Mon 07-Dec-20 07:16:49

Is he commune with you or your child? Tell him contact through you as he's letting ds2 down when he doesn't show. You're not telling him until ex confirms details an hr before

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