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he told kids about divorce and is telling them its all my fault(3 Posts)
I posted about wanting to leave my selfish lazy controlling mentally abusive husband then about doing it. When l first said l wanted to leave he was full of apologies and promised he would change but of course he didn't! we had agreed not to tell the boys (aged 11 and 8) while he's still living here and lawyers are negotiating. that was 8 weeks ago. however in a fit of rage on monday he told them and his exact words were "we're getting a divorce and its because mummy wants to split the family up always remember that mummy wants to split the family up and all mummy does is tell lies and manipulate you!" he even bad mouthed my parents who have done so much for all of us by saying "its nanny granda and mummy against me and mummy is doing this because they told her to!" thankfully l knew he was about to do it and recorded it. the boys were so upset and they both regularly and recently say they wish he was a better dad and he's no fun and never does anything literally never laughs but now this has happened he's taken them to flipping mcdonald's and promised my son an expensive gift for his birthday next week that l had been planning to get for him from me and my parents they think he's dad of the year. he has never put them to bed or read their stories but suddenly now its daddy this daddy that and it's killing me!! as l type this my eldest is sitting cuddled into his dad which he never did!! my lawyer is going to start a court action next week to get him out the house but she doesn't appear to be very reliable. she's written to his lawyer twice in these 8 weeks and heard nothing back. my STBXH is relishing in his new found adoration from the sons he never bothers with! how do l live like this?? I'm hurting so so much I just want him gone!
I think they all seem to play this game of manipulating the kids feelings, I know mine did. It didn't last and 5 years on they barely have contact - seen him 3 times this year so far. So try not to worry over the longer term x
Get a better lawyer - ask around and find the best. Then, get moving on the split. Do not engage - he will use the DC against you, every one who has ever divorced a controlling man can tell you this. You need to go grey rock (look it up on here).
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