I have two children with my XH. Now aged 8 and 5 (They were 4 and 6 when we split). XH was pretty awful in the split and they only see him one overnight a week and half the holidays (he didn't want more time with them) I was a SAHM when we split. I'm now working full time. I do pretty much all their life admin for them, he isn't really involved in their school or medical appointments etc.
He is very much an Uncle Dad. He's got them for his second week stretch now. Both the children said they are missing me. My youngest to the point where she seems quite distressed about being away from me. It's horrible to see. They do like seeing him and spending time with him but don't really get bothered about it unless they go more than 1.5-2 weeks without seeing him (which they have done as they have travelled with me and he regularly used to go away with work).
The issue I have is that he is just phoning it in. Most of the week at his they are cooped up in his flat, with endless screen and device time. He might take them out for an hour to the park or if they are lucky a local attraction for an hour or so each day. They seem miserable. They don't get to see any of their friends (he burnt bridges with the family friends we had locally and he isn't that close to the family home anyway) I know he is balancing working too which is hard. I sent him a list of local stay and play things when I was doing research for the days I needed cover, so he could put them in holiday clubs if he really needed to get on with things.
I don't want every school holiday they have to be miserable like this for them. I know they need to spend time with him too but the current arrangements don't seem to be working well.
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4 replies
Mum45678 · 12/08/2020 17:09
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