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Received letter from social services

(14 Posts)
kayla12 Fri 07-Aug-20 01:06:28

Hi everyone

Today I received a letter from social services saying they had a complaint/ a report about the Welfare of my child.
And that they have investigated it and have closed the case.

However this has left me feeling terribly upset since. All I've been doing is crying

I've never had involvement from social services before

My child has special needs
So she will be up at different hours making noises or crying and I try and settle her down I read to her or rock her to sleep

She's very well looked after all proven by the assessment that was made

All the health professionals had no concerns at all
Now I'm left feeling sad and I feel like I don't want to even go outside anymore because of what's happened.

I'm new to this area I've been here just a year and people don't know me here apart from one neighbour who I only say good morning to which makes me believe now that it's her who has done this

Maybe because of the noise my child makes but I was told on the phone that the person was anonymous and they had said so many things which really upset me a lot

I don't have any problems with anyone
I focus on myself and my child so I don't think anyone else could have done this to me apart from her

I'm feeling really down and anxious about going outside now

Sorry just needed to speak to someone thank you for reading

OP’s posts: |
FredaFrogspawn Fri 07-Aug-20 01:12:25

This sounds so tough, especially to have to deal with on your own.

If they closed the case without even meeting you, it sounds like they didn’t think the complaint had any truth in it at all.

I know it’s hard but please try to put this behind you. Hope you meet some nice people soon and settle in your new home.

swearymary100 Fri 07-Aug-20 01:25:29

Try not to worry OP. I'm a social worker & these 'anonymous' referrals pour through the door of Children's Services every day.
We have to investigate & in your case they have clearly recognised you are a good mum & there is nothing to worry about.

People refer concerns because they are genuinely worried & other people refer concerns because they can hear a bit of crying. Some people think children should be silent & others accept all the noisy chaos that children bring. The referral probably says more about your neighbour than it does about you!

Try to reframe it to think that one day someone will refer their concerns to social services and as a result a child's life will be saved. There will be hundreds of cases like yours that will lead to no further action, but that one will be important.

I'm sure you are doing great!

kayla12 Fri 07-Aug-20 01:37:44

FredaFrogspawn

This sounds so tough, especially to have to deal with on your own.

If they closed the case without even meeting you, it sounds like they didn’t think the complaint had any truth in it at all.

I know it’s hard but please try to put this behind you. Hope you meet some nice people soon and settle in your new home.


Thank you so much for your comment . I'm trying to stay strong I appreciate you taking your time to read x

OP’s posts: |
kayla12 Fri 07-Aug-20 01:46:11

swearymary100

Try not to worry OP. I'm a social worker & these 'anonymous' referrals pour through the door of Children's Services every day.
We have to investigate & in your case they have clearly recognised you are a good mum & there is nothing to worry about.

People refer concerns because they are genuinely worried & other people refer concerns because they can hear a bit of crying. Some people think children should be silent & others accept all the noisy chaos that children bring. The referral probably says more about your neighbour than it does about you!

Try to reframe it to think that one day someone will refer their concerns to social services and as a result a child's life will be saved. There will be hundreds of cases like yours that will lead to no further action, but that one will be important.

I'm sure you are doing great!


Thank you so much for taking your time to reply
It's made me feel better
I have been so anxious and have spent the whole day thinking about this.

My daughter had difficulty sleeping and will be up at different hours of the night and doesn't settle until late
Part of the report was that my daughter is heard screaming at all hours of the day and night .

So I'm just worried if this person reports me again. What happens ?

If it's ok I wanted some advice
As I was asked if I had any idea on who could be doing this , and I did mention I didn't know anyone in this area apart from the neighbour who I say to good morning , I've noticed lately she ignores me. So I don't bother anymore

Do I need to let them know that this neighbour could be the one who has made the anonymous report ? Or should I leave it as they've told me the case has been closed now

Thank you again for your message

OP’s posts: |
MumandnotMum Fri 07-Aug-20 01:53:20

It’s a horrible feeling OP. I had a similar one made about me. Except the complaint was that I hadn’t been seen outside much during the global pandemic. They were concerned that my husband had been seen putting bins out but not me...
Same thing, they didn’t need to meet me, they were happy after a quick chat on the phone. They won’t be worried about knowing who reported you if they person has made out like there is genuine concern. Even if the person wasn’t anonymous they wouldn’t pass back any info about you anyway so if they’ve done it to be nosy, it’ll be fruitless.

I know it’s hard but just try not to worry about it. Easier said than done I know, but you know you haven’t done anything wrong.

Cissyandflora Fri 07-Aug-20 01:54:51

Try not to feel bad but I know that’s hard. The social worker obviously has no concerns and it sounds like you are doing a fantastic job as a mum. I’m not surprised you have been upset. I would be too. But try to stay strong.

eaglejulesk Fri 07-Aug-20 02:37:47

You poor thing - that is horrible! The fact that the case was closed without them even talking to you shows that they don't consider there to be any sort of problem. It sounds as though life can be pretty tough for you, but you seem to be doing so well. Hard though it might seem hold your head up high and face the world - you've done absolutely nothing wrong. flowers

Chickaletta16 Fri 07-Aug-20 02:46:14

Oh op...please try and put this behind you. I had an anonymous complaint anout my children...some idiot neighbour thought i left my children alone. Unbeknown to them my mum has been staying with me to help with the kids whenever i need her.

I was angry and upset - but again social services closed the case as they believed im a good mum. Im stil very.upset about this though..ive just sold my home and can't wait to get away and make a fresh new start.

HeronLanyon Fri 07-Aug-20 03:16:15

op great advice above. I would have said exactly what swearymary said.
flowers

swearymary100 Fri 07-Aug-20 19:33:19

I honestly wouldn't contact them about your neighbour; a child with additional needs who is heard crying at night, but with no other concerns will not be a worry to Children's services.

However if it's causing you real concern & you can't cope with the worry, give them a call & let them know that a) you are worried & b) you want to log the concern you have that your neighbour might be the source of the referral.

Have you got sources of support OP? Are you managing ok?

kayla12 Sat 08-Aug-20 04:27:36

swearymary100

I honestly wouldn't contact them about your neighbour; a child with additional needs who is heard crying at night, but with no other concerns will not be a worry to Children's services.

However if it's causing you real concern & you can't cope with the worry, give them a call & let them know that a) you are worried & b) you want to log the concern you have that your neighbour might be the source of the referral.

Have you got sources of support OP? Are you managing ok?


Hi thank you again for replying
I did give them a call and explained the situation about the neighbour. I told them just so they can put a note down.

However the neighbour made it obvious today as I walked outside in the garden to play with my daughter she went quickly back inside.

I didn't want to confront her even though this has made me upset , just incase she would cause more issues

But have had some contact from someone and they think this is a hate crime towards a disabled child . And she's doing her best to cause issues for me and my girl .

Even though the case has been closed its left me feeling down having to deal with a neighbour like this sad

I have no idea what she's capable of doing next

Thanks again for replying to me

OP’s posts: |
kayla12 Sat 08-Aug-20 04:33:00

@swearymary100 even before my daughters diagnoses I quickly got support, I have attended every meeting for her to get the best support possible I've been lucky enough to have some amazing understanding professionals involved and they've helped a lot . My daughter is also non verbal but has started to say words ( I managed to do this myself with her ) as speech therapy was ongoing for 3 years and it didn't work. But now she can say the alphabet , days of the week , and numbers . Also a few other words
I'm myself working on getting her to say sentences and do other things too

It's been a great experience watching her learn so many things and she's a bright little girl .

I am managing perfectly fine and we're both happy thank you .

The only issue now is this where people like my neighbour try to ruin someone's life out of jealousy / etc . I really don't know what her problem is .

OP’s posts: |
Shamin Thu 20-Aug-20 13:27:10

Hey. I hope you have moved on from this terrible experience.

I had the same thing happen to me starting in April where an anonymous call was made saying my children were being starved, had lice in their hair, that my partner was buying excessive gifts for my daughter who was becoming unnaturally obsessed with him and that he was touching my son. Social services were quick to reassure me they felt this was malicious in nature although two more calls were made.

I know it was my ex due to a bit of info only he knew whilst he has always attacked me for saying I don’t feed the kids etc ( both children’s bmi are within range but my family are naturally very slim).

I was left shocked and hurt by these calls not to mention saddened for my partner who has done nothing but be good to us and he didn’t deserve to be lied about like that. He was stunned and genuinely upset and as a medical practitioner could lose his livelihood from such claims.

Just move on. Do your best and know that you are.

Take care.

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