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First overnight my eldest was fine but my youngest back not wanting me !

(3 Posts)
Sockmonster23 Sun 26-Jul-20 11:36:58

He has been saying he doesn’t like me , and constant I miss daddy.. my ex is a narc, he has a way that can literally manipulate you and it’s all competition with him. They are always coming back loaded with toys.. my son is 3 and he has said he loves and misses me and always says don’t worry I am coming but this morning I’ve never seen him so different. I am really struggling and I’ve tried many things to calm him down and bring him back to me but every now and he again he starts whinging.. My worst fear is my son not liking me as I don’t trust his dad to promote a good relationship with me.. I have good reasons and even members of family would say the same.. so it’s not like being funny

Any advice on how to deal this in the best possible way please , I have a great relationship with my son and he always says he loves me and misses but now he has said he doesn’t like me and misses his dad 🤧 Seriously what’s going on?

OP’s posts: |
ReasonablyUnreasonable Tue 28-Jul-20 21:38:10

Hi lovely,
Sounds heartbreaking and I have no real advice as I am not in this situation, but felt bad that no one had replied.

3 is very young. I'm sure your DS will be struggling and feeling confused by the new set up. All you can do is continue to show that you love him. Don't put his dad down or show that you are, understandably, upset. You need to be his rock, and whilst he may be missing his dad and being hurtful to you, if you just continue to be his loving mum, it will overshadow any negativity from his dad.

Be strong. It must hurt like crazy, but you know you are a good and loving mum, and your son will realise it too xx

NC4Now Tue 28-Jul-20 22:22:03

It’s really not uncommon for little children to be off with you when they get home from an overnight with the other parent. It’s the transition between the houses and the parents. It can take a while for them to acclimatise again.
One thing I was advised was that each parent collects them where possible, so no-one does the dropping off. I’ve known that work.
Also, is contact court ordered? A good routine will help everyone, but especially the children. It gives them stability to know when they will next be with the other parent.

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