This is a Premium feature
To use this feature subscribe to Mumsnet Premium - get first access to new features see fewer ads, and support Mumsnet.Start using Mumsnet Premium
Please help me(4 Posts)
Im considering leaving my partner but we have a one year old baby. I just don’t feel the same about him anymore, we never have sex and Ive become unaffectionate. We argue a lot about silly things but it’s becoming constant. I’m breastfeeding so thought maybe this is affecting my sex drive which is 0 but now I’m not sure if it’s just because the spark has gone. I had a hideous birth and suffered ptsd I’ve still got post natal depression. I’m worried if we do split what will happen with custody, I have a feeling he will try and get 50/50 care I’ve never left the baby overnight I will be in bits if he takes him away. I know it’s his child too but i know the baby would be so anxious to sleep away from me. Please someone give me advice I don’t know what to do.
Could you do couples therapy? Is the spark gone perhaps because you only see your role as a mother and that that’s kind of replaced your role as wife or because of something he is doing/isn’t doing?
He won’t get overnights whilst you’re still breastfeeding a young baby. So you can stop worrying about that bit and give yourself a little breathing space and time to think.
Have you got any support with your health? Does he do his fair share for the baby and at home.
When I had my youngest who hardly slept. I did it all. His answer was to let her cry. After four years of bugger all sleep. And no support I become resentful. He picked up on that and blamed me for not being 'fun' anymore. And things fell apart.
Talk to him. See if there is away forward for you both.
If it can't be saved then know that in tune you adjust to the situation. None of us thought we would be parenting alone. But done right children adapted. And you build a new life for yourself. It's not what we wanted or planned for but. You have to move forward however that may look.
Please login first.