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What do you worry about the most?(11 Posts)
Hi guys I thought I would start a convo where we could share what is on our mind and what worries we have over being a single parent or parenting in general, and then we can see things in a new perspective. You can add something as often as you want if you need to.
I will start-
I get worried that my baby won't love me as much as I love her and she will never know how I really feel about her because I want her to truly feel loved, as I never felt that way from my family so it means a lot to me for her to know it and I struggle with figuring out how to communicate it with her at this age.
Another worry I have is that she wont like doing the things I liked doing as a child and then I won't know how to keep her happy because she might want to do things I can't teach her or express enthusiasm for. But that is a bit irrational, I know, because she already loves drawing and dancing which are two of my passions!
A third worry I have is being a hypocrite because I want her to eat healthy but since I had her I've been stuffing my face with crisps and take away (just because it's easier when time is short) and I worry how will I teach her the importance of heating a healthy balanced diet if I'm not showing her the good example just because of the time (and energy) it takes to whip up decent food! I don't have any photos of the good balanced diet I had pre pregnancy! Similar to that I want to teach her how not to hoard but there seems to be so much stuff that gets thrown at your house by others when you have a child (just need to learn to say no and be okay with her having less than commercialism tells us we need!!).
Another worry is that she will make the same mistakes I've made with money, career and relationships and I won't be able to stop her (but she does listen to me, so that's a positive sign!).
Finally, i really worry about the relationships in my family and how that will be a template for her and i worry that she will find it uncomfortable that we never meet my relatives (who never see each other- it's just me that goes round making the effort with them all) all at once under the same roof and she has to forge a lot of one-on-one relationships with others and if this will affect her identity. Hoping to find a community where she will learn the importance of family and coming together.
Think that's all mine and thank you for reading if you got this far.
I used to worry about money. I then had a brain hemorrhage in January, I now worry about dying and leaving the kids with their dad.
He isnt the best and I'm convinced they'd never see my family or their friends again. They'd be whisked off to live with him, different schools etc.
I also worry if I'm enough and if I do enough to try and get their dad to step up. I know its not my job but I just want more for them.
I worry that if anything happens to me, physically or mentally what will happen to my DC, DD only has me to depend on.
I worry that I'm never gonna be able to work enough or earn enough to move out of council housing/ provide for both DC the opportunities DS had before I had DD.
I worry that I won't be good enough for them, because at everyone else's house, whilst there's not always a dad, there's a nana or lots of cousins etc. And it's just mummy the lone wolf here.
I worry about letting the wrong man around my DC. I particularly hold irrational fears around DD due to my own childhood. Even so much as thinking of not going back to work at all after my ML is over, in case the nursery staff hurt her in some way.
I worry that they won't know how much I love them, that they are my end and my beginning and every beat of my heart. Because cuddles and kisses are minuscule in comparison to the love I feel for them. And mummy can be stress and life can knock seven bells out of me some days, they could never feel just how precious they are to me.
I worry that my dd doesn’t have a nice enough time with me. My Mum
and a friend have told me I’m too hard on myself but I can’t help it.
Anything happening to me or my DS. I try not to think about it as I really upsets me.
But one of my biggest fears is (and I've never been able to shake it) what if anything happened to me whilst my Ds is still dependent on me. His dad is totally absent and has been for over 4 and a half years. He stopped bothering when he was still a baby. He is named on the birth certificate and when making a will I was told in the event of my passing his dad would get full PR. It knocked me sick as he is practically a stranger. He has never tried. And I know for sure that if the worst would happen, my DS would never see my side of our family again, who he idolises and likewise. When I'm gone there is nothing I can do but the fear of providing him with a safe, stable, secure and extremely loving life to have it all taken away from him is very real and gives me alot of anxiety
I identify with that one @Dicotyledon.
DS is 7 and especially since I've had DD I worry.
DD is 7 months and whilst she is a smily baby, spending most her life in lockdown with mummy I think she's bored of me and doesn't laugh at me no matter what I do.
We can often be our own worst critics.
Dying (not for me but because there is nobody else to take over), losing my job and ending homeless, and about DS squandering all the efforts and sacrifices to take him where he is because as he seems to have become addicted to gaming on the year he needs to be working the most before he goes to uni.
Even though these are worrying things, I love reading these and knowing we are all in it together. And with regards to if something happened, social services would get involved first and make sure the father was a suitable fit- because he has been so absent and they would do background checks on him. They check around all the family of the mother before deciding what to do. I know because I had social services involved when I moved here from being abroad and didn't have anywhere to live and they wanted to make sure I wasn't mentally ill. Part of their investigations include having a back up plan should something have happened to make me unable to parent. Their first port of call with an absent father, is the mothers relatives. Hope that helps some of you feel better.
I appreciate you all for sharing and being open. Thank you.
@Welikebeingcosy I'm glad you started this thread
My greatest fear is being made homeless. It's unlikely to happen but it's like a dark cloud on the horizon.
My second one, not a fear exactly is that I'm not working hard enough. I work just under full time, I keep our home nice, clothes washed and ironed and cook reasonable food but we watch A LOT of TV. I know we should be reading more and doing more homework.
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