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Teens up all night and sleeping all day

(45 Posts)
calmfig Sun 03-May-20 16:58:10

Just wondering how many other parents are experiencing their teens staying up all night talking to their friends, watching tv, gaming etc and then waking up very late in the day? The lockdown has done this to mine and as much as I try and get them into a routine it's just not working and they have been completely thrown off and I can't help feel it's very unhealthy. They seem fine with it but as a parent I cant help feel it's unhealthy mentally and physically

OP’s posts: |
Chewbecca Sun 03-May-20 16:59:53

Yep, mine is too.

DH thinks it is not normal / right.

I am leaving them to it though. I see no rational reason to argue about an arbitrary timetable that must be stuck to.

Sodamncold Sun 03-May-20 17:00:14

It is unhealthy
And they will really struggle when lockdown eases and they have external expectations on them
Plus shit for other members of the house

How old?

Anthilda Sun 03-May-20 17:02:50

We're the same although my children arent teens yet.
Gaming most of the afternoon/evening. Refusing to come out for walks, he just says 'what's the point' or 'walk to where?'
It's too difficult to challenge him when I have toddler to deal with too.
I am trying though.
I'm also trying to work so it's a bit chaotic.
I make sure he does education each day now, which was impossible in the beginning.
Someone asked on another thread If people were willing to send their kids back to school n I said yes.
Kids need structure, sunshine, fresh air, exercise, education and socializing.
It's so difficult to manage all this plus work.

NC4Now Sun 03-May-20 17:04:28

Yep, my 17 and 14 are like this. Sleep pattern totally messed up.

OhCantThinkOfANewName Sun 03-May-20 17:05:10

I thinks it’s important, if they are able, to get and get fresh air in the daytime.

I’m achieving this with one dd and not the other...

Chewbecca Sun 03-May-20 17:05:37

Why is it unhealthy to sleep when your body wants to and wake when it decides to?

I'm not too concerned about the return to normal, it won't be until September and will be like adjusting to jet lag. We wouldn't deny a trip to Oz because of jet lag would we?

Chewbecca Sun 03-May-20 17:06:25

My teen does go out for walks. Sometimes at 6am, sometimes 6pm, whenever works.

Thighmageddon Sun 03-May-20 17:07:18

Same happening here.

I'm ignoring it until such times we need to reverse the pattern.

Myfanwyprice Sun 03-May-20 17:08:11

My ds is like this, although it does vary and a few times he’s decided he needs an early night.

I was concerned at first, but really when else in his life will he get this opportunity to just completely do what he likes with very little pressure to do anything else? As long as he is doing the school work that is set, I’m happy for him to set his own routine for now. Yep, it might be hard on him when school reopens, but we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.

OhCantThinkOfANewName Sun 03-May-20 17:09:17

Out of interest what are you all doing with meals, is everyone just cooking for themselves for main meals, or just warming up dinner at a later time?

Sodamncold Sun 03-May-20 17:09:23

So they’re eating throughout the night?

Sodamncold Sun 03-May-20 17:10:29

I’d allow sleep in until midday. For their own sakes.

Tigerty Sun 03-May-20 17:11:45

Yes my 14 year old has this sleep pattern too. Since it’s so common in teens I can’t help but wonder if it’s actually better for their bodies at this point in time? Mine is definitely sleeping a lot more, odd times yes but a lot more. He’s hasn’t been irritable since I decided to go with the flow with this.

Bubbletrouble43 Sun 03-May-20 17:11:57

Mine used to try this. Used my mums trick of morning hoovering throughout upstairs including in her bedroom. Soon packed it in. I also " closed" the kitchen at 10pm and switched the internet off when I went to sleep.

wehaveafloater Sun 03-May-20 17:11:57

Remove the wifi and turn off the electricity .

Tigerty Sun 03-May-20 17:12:29

As long as he does his schoolwork and seems ok I figure what’s the harm.

hopefulhalf Sun 03-May-20 17:12:59

Do they not have (virtual )school ? If 18 or 19 nothing you can do.

enragedpenfold Sun 03-May-20 17:13:18

Free-range parenting. (Benign neglect). They are settling into their own rhythms and frankly, as I know full well they are absolutely capable of getting up at 6am to get to work by 6.30 and work a full day when they aren’t on temp lay-off, I’m not going to dictate they rise by 9am to look at the back of my head while I put in a day’s slog at the computer.
They have found their own pace - one gets up around 9 and gets on with her school work, one finished her final exams last week and is now on a roughly 1030/11am rising schedule, and we don’t see the other one until anywhere between 1 and 3pm. (He’s the one that works at 6.30am usually, which makes me even prouder that he is conscientious enough to do that when his natural rhythm is rather more nocturnal). They all eat with us in the evening (and take a turn at cooking the evening meal for the family). No pressure. Life is too weird to dictate waking hours to older teens and young adults. I trust mine to find their own way through this. And chatting way into the night to their mates and online D&D campaigns are apparently working so far. As is a late afternoon or evening bike ride.
Sleep, food, fresh air and safe socializing. The horror.

Bubbletrouble43 Sun 03-May-20 17:13:26

Just to add, I wasn't too strict, just expected her up by noon and didn't want to hear her after 11pm.

Hairdowntohisknees Sun 03-May-20 17:13:45

Why bubble?

Myfanwyprice Sun 03-May-20 17:14:31

Today, he woke up around 11 and we had brunch together, and will have dinner at 6ish, other days he’s slept later and had something then and dinner later.

I’m really trying not to stress about eating/sleeping patterns, as long as he’s healthy and happy then that’s enough for now. Lockdown is hard, I’m not going to make it harder by nagging teens to stick to a routine.

Hairdowntohisknees Sun 03-May-20 17:14:45

Turn off the electricity? is that a joke?

poolsofsunshine Sun 03-May-20 17:16:50

What age teens? 13 and 14 is completely different to 17 and 18...

I wouldn't allow my 14 and 12 year olds to do that, and they have no personal electronics after 8:30pm at weekends, 7:30pm in the week (only TV in the family room is available).

They're in bed by 9pm Sunday to Thursday even during lockdown and I wake them up at 7:30am, although 14 year old has an agreement she can sleep another hour if she wants, then finish her school day an hour later too, and we do a school day 8am to 12 noon (or sometimes 9-1).

However those rules wouldn't work for older teens obviously.

Thighmageddon Sun 03-May-20 17:18:17

Remove the wifi and turn off the electricity

Why would I turn the electricity off?

And I'm not doing either of your suggestions, we're all getting through this however we can and I'm not dictating to my teen ds that he has to get up early and sit with me whilst watching tv because I've lost all motivation due to being furloughed.

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