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Flying if your kids have father's surname

(36 Posts)
ILikePaperHats Sun 01-Mar-20 21:40:58

I'm flying with TUI with my boyfriend and 2 sons DS6 and DS12 in July and am a bit worried because I have a different surname to my kids (they have their father's surname). Will this cause any problems checking-in do you think? I can bring their birth certificates.

OP’s posts: |
dementedpixie Sun 01-Mar-20 21:44:51

It's not even to do with surnames. Anyone with parental responsibility is supposed to give permission for you to take them abroad. This applies regardless of surname. Can you get a letter of consent from their father? Take the birth certificates too

Northernsoullover Sun 01-Mar-20 21:53:43

I've never needed a letter of consent but I have been asked for birth certificates

tribpot Sun 01-Mar-20 21:54:55

I have been asked for the birth certificate as well. Only ever on re-entry to the UK.

TrainspottingWelsh Sun 01-Mar-20 22:01:21

I doubt it. I've flown with dsd (different surname) and dd plenty of times and nobody has ever asked for anything.

Plus both dc have been away with friends families, and we've taken dc's friends with us without anyone questioning anything. However they were all teens at that point.

Marie84 Sun 01-Mar-20 22:05:51

I have taken my DCs away several times and we don't have the same surnames. Never had an issue and until reading this never even thought about it 🙈

notimagain Sun 01-Mar-20 22:05:57

As dementedpixie said:

"You must get the permission of everyone with parental responsibility for a child or from a court before taking the child abroad..........
You automatically have parental responsibility if you’re the child’s mother, but you still need the permission of anyone else with parental responsibility before you take the child abroad.

SpideyMom Sun 01-Mar-20 23:12:51

I've been asked questions but that's about it. I've always taken BC.
Legally you are meant to get permission, but a Solicitor told me you will almost never get stopped unless there is a court order or safety DS dad has been totally absent for over 4 years and in October refused permission for me to take my DS abroad. I sent him an email after reading on mumsnet loads about needed permission so thought I should just show I have done what is required of me. He refused and said he has PR so can say no (despite him having no contact for most my son's life).This is when I got legal advice and she told me to just go and dont overthink it. Travel with BC and a return ticket and you will be fine. No judge would deny a child the opportunity on a family holiday.
We have been abroad 3 times now. The last time they didn't even ask to see the BC

BookMeOnTheSudExpress Sun 01-Mar-20 23:20:34

I often fly with DD. Am not separated from her dad but he rarely travels with us. I suppose we fly about 8 times a year and approximately half of those I'm asked for his consent letter.
Never been asked leaving the UK because there are no passport checks apart from the identification one by the airlines themselves, but almost always asked on re-entry.
Often asked leaving Italy and was asked entering Portugal (with Tui)
It will be easier really when it becomes statutory rather than hit and miss as it is at the moment. At least then everyone will know.
As others have said, it's nothing to do with surnames. It's one parent with a child that border officers are told to look at to stop cross border abduction by one parent.

BookMeOnTheSudExpress Sun 01-Mar-20 23:23:30

SpideyMum- that is really bad advice you were given and utter rubbish. You can, and will, be stopped if border control suspect you have no permission and may be abducting. It was one of the first things we were trained in in 1991 and things are more stringent now follows some high profile parental abductions.
Better safe than sorry.

Reginabambina Sun 01-Mar-20 23:26:49

I’ve taken birth certificates and marriage certificate and it’s always been fine. They only over seem to ask when you’re coming back into the country fof sone reason anyway.

Pieceofpurplesky Sun 01-Mar-20 23:28:36

Ask your ex to write a letter giving permission and have his contact details on.

snop Sun 01-Mar-20 23:37:45

Watching this with interest as dp recently passed away, can anyone tell me what happens in these circumstances when you are unable to obtain a letter of consent. Both kids have their dads name.

LemonFrenzy Sun 01-Mar-20 23:58:04

Just take a photo on your phone of the bc to be sure. It's good that they check to stop abductions. Worth getting legal advice for peace of mind. Citizens Advice might be able to help.

ursuslemonade Mon 02-Mar-20 00:19:01

I have been asked every single time for the BC when coming back. For years.

Newtothis213 Mon 02-Mar-20 07:46:25

Also sought legal advise over this, solicitor also said take BC with us

Ugzbugz Mon 02-Mar-20 07:50:22

I've been asked a few times to see DC birth certificate coming into the UK, never leaving or leaving another country or entering l. I just typed a letter myself once saying it was from DC dad, he would be fine with this though as we get on okay.

pisspants Mon 02-Mar-20 07:57:31

My kids have a different surname to me but I cannot get permission from their father as he lives overseas himself and as he hasn't seen them in 3 years wouldnt know if they were home or on holiday! I am always questioned on the way in to the UK so travel with full birth certificates and have not had a problem with that.

BookMeOnTheSudExpress Mon 02-Mar-20 08:02:06

Regina- same here. And truly bonkers when I took a group of students to UK from Italy and only had to produce permission for the one I'd given birth to, not the others!

Snop- flowers I think a copy of your husband's death certificate is fine.

PumpkinP Mon 02-Mar-20 13:44:49

I am going to write my own letter from ex! He is absent and has been for 3 years, there’s no way I’m asking for his permission

OllyBJolly Mon 02-Mar-20 13:50:56

I do have the same name as DCs and was often stopped at immigration in US and Canada and challenged about whether I had permission. I had sole care and control (as it was called in Scotland at that time) and didn't require anyone's permission.

Anyway, I got XH to write a letter saying he'd given me permission and to call or email him if there were any queries. This letter was never verified/checked/notarised but seemed to satisfy the authorities.

It's a bit misleading of posters to assume that because they haven't been challenged, then no one else will. It's quite distressing, particularly after a long flight with two tired and hungry children. Once I was even taken to an interview room (this is before I had the letter). Awful.

kitk Mon 02-Mar-20 13:52:18

Surnames do matter a bit PPs. My ex can take DD anywhere with his girlfriend and nobody questions him as it looks like she's just travelling with her parents, whereas I always need permission when travelling with DD because our surnames are different

BillieEilish Mon 02-Mar-20 13:59:33

The customs will just phone him if in doubt. But this is not an ideal option, they will be very annoyed.

I have always needed proof and my DD questioned many times (in another room shock) Or they may just question your DC's 'who is this person?' etc You may get asked for birth dates.

You'll deffo need something with you be it BC's, a letter, a note even (but is supposed to be notarised by a solicitor)

PumpkinP Mon 02-Mar-20 14:02:26

but is supposed to be notarised by a solicitor)

Really?! What if exes are absent like mine

BillieEilish Mon 02-Mar-20 14:05:32

Absolutely, yes. And I'm quite sick of arguing about it on here!

You need authority more and more and more these days.

But risk it if you want...

I have been stopped on every trip, since 2010.

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