I have a 14month old daughter who I am raising alone. Currently going through a divorce as my ex cheated whilst I was pregnant. Since this has happened I have actively tried to get my ex to see his daughter, have never put any barriers in the way of access and havent made the cheating an issue. For the first 6 months he hardly saw her, doesnt pay regular maintenance. After the 6 months his main effort was trying to get me back and not to see his daughter. He has harassed myself, threatened revenge porn etc, it hasnt been easy. Still I have been trying to encourage access as I want my daughter to have a healthy relationship with her father.
As she doesnt have a bond with him and he was seeing her so irregularly, before Christmas I told him he had to see her more to form the bond, little and often and we would build it up. He has bailed on weekends he was supposed to see her for lads holidays, sore throats etc. We are at the point where I try and arrange dates for him to see her and he doesnt reply, then he messages mid week saying he wants to see her (it is supervised as my daughter doesn't know him so I am there every time. Drive her to see him and cancel my plans and give my time) recently he was supposed to be extending the time with her. Every time this hasnt happened! Once he had arranged a date and said he couldnt see her longer because of this, the next time he wanted to go to a shopping outlet. I'm fed up and at the end of my tether. He said his mum wants to come and see her when it's his time with her when I replied he only sees her for 2hrs, he was then more than willing to extend the time because his mum would be there, but isnt bothered and doesnt make the time when he sees her alone!! I feel like he only sees her so he can tell people he has, all for appearances.
Where do I go from here? I am at the point that he will not be able to see her on his own as he doesnt make the effort. When I try and teach him her routines or what she likes, even how to collapse the pram, he is rude and horrible to me. The solicitor has suggested a contact centre but I dont see why I should put my daughter through the stress of more strangers etc when its him who cannot be bothered. Has anybody any experience with contact centres?
Please suggest something because other than telling him he can just arrange everything through my solicitor and blocking him (have already blocked him from everything bar normal messages because of the harrassment) I am at a loss! He doesnt respect me as her mother and my mental health us being effected now. He has put her on social media after we had agreed even when we were together that this would not happen, there is no respect at all and I dont know what to do!
Any advice would be helpful and thankyou if you have read this!!
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Where do I go from here? Getting my daughters dad to take access seriously.
8 replies
Bettsy123 · 17/02/2020 17:00
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