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How long does it take to recover?!

(7 Posts)
tetti Sun 02-Sep-07 17:42:09

I know it is still VERY early days.My ex (partner of 13 years) recently told me he wanted us to split(see my other posts),and it really did come out of the blue.
It's been only a few weeks,maybe 3.
I felt ok at first,was doing surprisingly well.
But yesterday it all kind of sunk in,big time!
I dk if it's beacuse his parents came up to see our daughter (they offered me financial help so that me and my little girl can move to a larger home,at the moment she doesn't even have her own room,not great,the living room is basically a playroom,and we have a very large bedroom so she has got her own bed in that,not ideal! But,we were just about to move to a bigger flat when he broke up with me.He was going to pay for the majority of the move though as he earns more,so I think that's why his parents stepped in and offered me help so that I don't have to save for another 6 months before we,my girl and I, can actually pack up and move!)

Anyway,yesterday I left my ex to have a talk with his parents whilst i went out to get some "me time".I almost had a panik attack on the bus(!),I felt like I couldn't breathe adn I just wanted to break down and cry(haven't had much of a chance to do that lately,what with being busy with my daughter and work!).I managed to calm myself down,but in evening when the ex went out and my daughter was asleep,it all came out.I couldn't stop crying(for weeks I had been unable too,guess it was the chock of it all).
It feels like I have now reached the lowest point,and from here it can only get better.

But for you who's been in the same boat,how long did it take you to get over the worst of
the aftermath of the split? I soo long just to be happy again!

macdoodle Sun 02-Sep-07 17:46:48

Oh hon take it slow it wil take time - it is now over a year for me since I found out about affair then on and off for 6/12 before he finally left last Nov - I still have really bad days but also some good days where I can see that my life will get better and I feel happy - it takes time

nutcracker Sun 02-Sep-07 17:53:21

Agree with Macdoodle, it does take time and nonone can really say how long, but just remember that it is a big thing you are going through and no one should expect you to sail through it.

mamama Sun 02-Sep-07 17:55:18

It takes time. A lot of time. And, as you know, there are good days and bad days. But gradually things do get easier. Just take it one day at a time.

I'm sorry you are going through this. I know how awful it is.

{hug}

Pinkchampagne Sun 02-Sep-07 17:58:30

Like others have said, it is a huge thing to go through, and it does take time, although it does get a little easier as time goes on.

Sorry you're going through this.sad

meanmutha Sun 02-Sep-07 21:07:52

Hi tetti
I am going through the same thing...
It's really hard isn't it!! I have 3 children and they are coping well so far.. honestly though, when they're staying with ex (together 8 years) or grandparents like tonight I feel miserable as hell!
Totally confused and in shock. And I can't bear all the pitying looks from people I slightly know yet not well enough for them to come over and ask me how things are. Neighbourhood chinese whispers you know the sort of thing!
My ex left 5 months ago when I had to ask him to. Really awful but our relationship was un-rescue-able. I just have to spend as much time with good friends and my supportive family as possible, get out as much as I can and remember that I'm not superhuman!! When your whole life is thrown into chaos its a Rocky Ride.. At least his family can and will help you. That's good.

almostmidnight Sun 02-Sep-07 22:13:19

Hi Tetti, sorry you have been having a bad time. Hang on in there. I find it best to try and fill my days up for the week even if it is just a visit to the park so I know I have something to do each day.

I am lucky with my father-in-law staying close by as he tries to help get us out and about at the weekends ex2b dh isn't around, usually to my sister-in-laws so the girls can play with their cousins. Gives me a chance to relax too as there house is in the country and the garden is so great they can just run around all day and not get bored.

Not had a good weekend myself. Have had a constant headache since Thursday evening and the only thing that helped for a bit was when I got stung on the thumb yesterday by a wasp. I was at my sister-in-laws picking plums for jam making. I have never been stung before and I hope now that neither of my girls gets stung as it is soooooooooo sore shock

My ex2b dh is away working for a week which I have to say I enjoy, just knowing he won't be round as I think it is seeing him that drives me mental. He has phoned a couple of evenings to talk to the girls but they are more interested in playing than talking.

Keep positive and keep posting whenever you feel you have had enough or you're fed up. I still have my moments after only 3 months when I like to have a good cry but I have to say it is getting easier already. I just look at my two beautiful girls and they make me so happy smile

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