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Do any of you have moments where you miss your ex?

(33 Posts)
Pinkchampagne Thu 30-Aug-07 21:16:46

Even though you may be sure you have made the right decision in leaving them, are there bits about your ex that you miss a bit?

tribpot Thu 30-Aug-07 21:19:13

Oh PC I know where you're coming from, even though your ex is an arse of the highest order. Think red wine stain on carpet and ds(1?) confined to barracks.

Girly Thu 30-Aug-07 21:20:22

Honestly, not really. We do get on but I have not had one moment when i miss him, except maybe to put the bins out! That sounds awful I know, but its true so far.

Are you missing your ex?

tortoise Thu 30-Aug-07 21:22:08

NO! Not at all!
But i guess for people in different circumstances to me it will happen.

Pinkchampagne Thu 30-Aug-07 21:33:05

I know he was an arse, and I have had recent reminders of that, but I miss his nicer side sometimes. I miss us being a family sometimes, I miss having someone to cook me meals, someone to talk to in the evening, having a hug if I need one, but I don't miss his temper.

I know I've done the right thing & I don't regret my decision, but sometimes I get very low, and there are things I miss. (would never let him know this!)

Pinkchampagne Thu 30-Aug-07 21:34:20

Having a silly low evening, which is the reason for this thread.

tortoise Thu 30-Aug-07 21:41:22

Aww PC.
I do miss having someone to talk to in the evenings. I missed having someone to share my DCs holiday with me BUT i do not miss my XP. Just miss having a man around.grin

Pinkchampagne Thu 30-Aug-07 21:41:43

I have been living alone for nearly 4 months now, and most of the time I cope with it all ok, but I do have my moments, and I would be lying if I said I didn't miss him at all.
Just wondered how normal it was.

tortoise Thu 30-Aug-07 21:43:59

The first few months/year are worse.
Its nearly 3 years or me and i think i have just got used to bing on my own. Some days i miss having someone around.
i think thats quite normal.

tortoise Thu 30-Aug-07 21:44:16

2 years i meant!

Girly Thu 30-Aug-07 21:47:02

Its still very early days yet pc, your emotions are bound to bounce from one to the other, give yourself a break and dont tell him your missing bits of him!! Allow yourself a low day/evening.

Pinkchampagne Thu 30-Aug-07 21:51:22

I would never ever let him know, no way!

I seemed to adjust to it all a lot better than I thought I would from the start really, but I get the odd moments & tonight is one of those moments.
The boys are staying with their dad, I have made my naff meal for one again, and I feel really lonely & tearful.

mojosmum Thu 30-Aug-07 21:55:32

PC - Ive been on my own for 2yrs it was really hard in the beginning but not as you know ive met someone & am worried i will loose all my me time

it will get better but its always worse when the kids arnt there & you have time to think

keep you chin up grin

zmandaz Thu 30-Aug-07 22:01:03

I miss not having someone in my life but I don't miss my ex.

Girly Thu 30-Aug-07 22:02:08

If its any consolation I too had my meal for one tonight smile

I always get a bit tearful/anxious for a couple of days a month and yep you guessed it bloody PMT always makes me feel wobbly, could it be that?

Pinkchampagne Thu 30-Aug-07 22:07:37

It wasn't much of a meal tonight...2 corn on the cobs!

I can become more emotional just before my period, but I think it's a little early for it to be PMT.
Most of the time I chug along ok, but I have been feeling a little low for the last few days, and tonight I have been thinking about things, and been quite teary.

Pinkchampagne Thu 30-Aug-07 22:22:51

My ex went out for a drink with my dad before picking up the boys tonight, and my mum text to ask me where they were, as if I should know.
Don't know if that has made me worse tonight, or if it is the quiet lonliness now the house is empty. I'm just really feeling it tonight, and wondered if others had moments of feeling similar.

LRB978 Thu 30-Aug-07 22:27:36

(((((((((((((PC))))))))))))))) Ive been single now for 3 years, and it does get better. I do miss the having someone around, as you discribed, but not my exp. It does get better in time. When I felt teary, I used to put on a film/listen to a song/read a story that made me cry. Sounds weird but I wasnt crying over the circumstances I was in, I was crying over what I was doing, and ended up crying over everything, but I wasnt crying because of him, if you see what I mean. As for food, why not treat yourself. As my son eats at school/holiday club I dont have to feed him (much hmm)on an evening and have slowly mastered food for one. From the naughty Fray Bentos (open tin, stick in oven, turn out onto plate, enjoy....) to sausage casserole (bung everything into a pan, simmer for several hours, just check to see if liquid needs adding), to a treat with a nice piece of fish and my fav veg, a treat of food can help your mood and it doesnt have to be chocolate (although it is very nice). And last of all talk to someone, be it a friend/family on the phone or someone on the net - you can always try and get hold of me, I'm on most nights if you want - cos talking, screaming and shouting is good as well, especially if the one you are talking to knows your ex and has similar feelings about him....

Sorry for the ramble, hope it makes sense and helps

harman Thu 30-Aug-07 22:28:22

Message withdrawn

notsofarnow Thu 30-Aug-07 22:28:34

pc so know where your coming from had last relate session today and reviewed the last 7 months and although I am absolutely sure that I don't want him back there are moments like last night when he was here that I miss his smell, I miss not having him in dc lives and yes I miss the practical things that he used to do putting the dishwasher on etc.

But listening to him in dd's bed this morning farting really loudly because he can't get home as he's lost his driving licence then no, no, no.

Pinkchampagne Thu 30-Aug-07 22:39:09

Thank you for your replies. I feel better just for coming on here & talking about it.
I don't want him back at all, I really don't, but there are little bits that I do miss, and I'm having a bit of a moment tonight.

Pinkchampagne Thu 30-Aug-07 22:45:03

Don't know what I would have done without the company of MN over the last few months, it has really helped me!

Pinkchampagne Fri 31-Aug-07 11:52:52

I am feeling a lot better this morning after a decent nights sleep.
I think a lot of it is lonliness, which I mix up with missing him a bit. I know I would not want to go back to him though.

EscapeFrom Fri 31-Aug-07 11:58:25

Being lonely can feel very very much like missing someone. Are you missing him specifically, or maybe just missing having someone there? Would you be missing him while a friend was at your house, gossiping?

Pinkchampagne Fri 31-Aug-07 12:12:31

No I don't miss him at all when I have friends round!
I think a lot of it is probably confused with lonliness, and there are only ceratain bits that I miss - I certainly don't miss his temper for starters!

I think in a strange way, me going on a date with a man so very different to ex H, has probably triggered a lot of this too.

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