Toddler tantrums and dropped naps

[MummyOfASonBun]

So... my boy is 19 months old and he seems to have started the terrible 2s. His tantrums are full on atm; biting, hitting, throwing stuff, throwing himself on the floor, shouting, screaming, stamping, kicking out. Any tips to help?? I do my very best not to shout as that isn't how I want to parent, yes it is very difficult especially when it's continuous tantrums or I'm tired or I have other stuff on in my head, and I hear my voice raising or I get shorter (although I have been told to "be more firm with him, especially at that age" and "make sure he knows you're the boss", AIBU for thinking that's totally uncalled for if I choose not to parent that way??). Also, he seems to of dropped his naps, he's had a grand total of 2 in the past 2 weeks, I don't know if it's me not catching it right or doing it wrong or not enough stimulation, etc etc. Surely it's a bit early for him to be dropping his naps?? A little background that may be relevant, it's just me and my boy, our lives have changed quite a bit recently... a few months ago we fled Domestic Abuse (coercive control and emotional abuse) from his Dad, I still kind of have a long distance thing with his Dad, he has irregular video call contact with him (which I'm pretty sure exasperates the tantrums but I can't be totally sure), yes I have been advised by SS to cut contact and that he won't be having physical contact with him. Please no crappy comments on this matter, I am getting support and it is very difficult.

[kitk]

You need to parent your way. If you're not the type to be more firm then do it your way instead? I will say that I'm an advocate of being firm early in however. He's old enough to start understanding how to behave even if he only gets it right sometimes.

The best thing about being a single parent is being able to do things your own way and discipline as you see fit so take control in whatever way suits you and follow through

[kitk]

Ps contact with other parent will likely always exacerbate emotional response in young kids. My DD is 8 and she's still unsettled after seeing her dad but whether it continues or not, you only have to be consistent with your own standards

[MummyOfASonBun]

I have a firm voice and look when I need to, i just don't shout. I agree with the consistency, but it's not, it only feels like it's when his Dad can be bothered, sometimes it's every day, others it's can be days apart, never at same timings, sometimes it's when he's eating or due to sleep or nap soon, it's barely ever more than a few minutes mostly and he doesn't really talk to him or respond to what he's actually saying. I've tried being the one to do it, but then felt it shouldn't be me keeping up the contact. Tbh the whole situation is very messy. He's more bothered about keeping me in check than DS. Atleast that's how it feels. That's why I don't feel it helps with the tantrums. They seem to get worse when he does get the half arsed video calls

[kitk]

Sorry if I didn't explAin but meant discipline consistency

[MummyOfASonBun]

Ahh, sorry, yes, I agree with consistency