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Video calling

(8 Posts)
PalomaViolets Wed 15-Jan-20 17:54:31

Do you think it’s beneficial for a 2.5 year old? My child’s father lives at the other end of the country (his decision to move) and he’s suddenly now wanting to video call her everyday.

Due to seeking advice from Woman’s Aid and claims he has made against me having seen me on video call I am now no longer showing myself but just holding the phone in front of my child. When he says he has to go she cries and gets upset and then wants me to cuddle her. It’s just awkward and I really don’t see it being a positive thing.

He has access (although I’m going to the lawyer tomorrow about this) but I am the parent with care so make the decisions, which he can challenge.

OP’s posts: |
PumpkinP Wed 15-Jan-20 18:36:02

I think it’s ok, maybe not every day though, seems ott but once twice a week. Just let her hold it? I have a 2 and a half year old and she can hold the phone herself?

PalomaViolets Wed 15-Jan-20 18:41:26

Thanks Pumpkin. I let her hold it the other night and she put it down and went off to play. He then had a go at me because I didn’t force her to come back and talk to him 🤷‍♀️

OP’s posts: |
YourAuntieGrizelda Wed 15-Jan-20 20:59:09

I had this too. Demanded a call every day at 6PM. I had to hold the phone or it got put down straight away- this was my fault. So I held the phone and was 'intruding' on their time. The novelty soon wears off

3xcookedchips Thu 16-Jan-20 10:45:16

When a parent is not seeing the child regularly its typical to have skype calls as a (poor)substitute, and courts will order it unless there are substantial issues.

Every day may be a little too much but for a child so young its good for them still to have that connection with the other parent.

Skype calls can be problematic becuase kids want to be playing and doing other stuff there's always that challenge.

FatherB Fri 17-Jan-20 16:58:54

I see nothing wrong with video calls, pretty standard stuff.

"I let her hold it the other night and she put it down and went off to play. He then had a go at me because I didn’t force her to come back and talk to him"

I mean that is on you right? You obviously know you need to help out a little bit as she's too young, and seeing her put down the phone and not helping is just obviously not the right thing to do. I do understand why it's frustrating that you have to do it though.

Given time she'll be better at handling the calls herself and as others have said every day is probably too much. Once a week would be fine imo. More if you wanted to, which you don't seem to.

In the end it is beneficial for her (in the majority of cases) to have that relationship building.

Bartsai Sat 18-Jan-20 21:52:30

I do 50\50 and video calls. Stand the phone up and then it’s the child’s choice to engage. Don the fight it. They will soon get bored of daily. Perhaps he only does it to wind yo7 up

MoreHairyThanScary Sat 18-Jan-20 22:18:47

Sounds like he has been abusive in the past and is using this as a method to continue the control. Once or twice a week is adequate and end the call if he starts to demand things.

He can demand contact as much as he likes so long as you are reasonable ignore.

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