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Family feud over fiancé’s suicide

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Firstmom264 Mon 13-Jan-20 18:08:36

Hi everyone,
So my sons father committed suicide 3 years ago in April. My son was nearly 2 at the time. It was a huge shock for everyone and no one expected it. After the funeral his family started turning against me, blaming me for not realising he was depressed. Blaming me for our relationship being rocky. (We were both young and there was some cheating). A few months down the line they blamed me for his death publicly on social media and have done ever since.. calling me names (evil, monster, bitch, slag etc) it’s been going on for 3 years... in which they haven’t seen my son/their grandson. As the relationship between us is so vile we have had no contact. Me and his mom and dad did go to family court a year ago where the magistrates told them that because of the way they have been towards me they would be too toxic for my sons upbringing and there is an element of danger sad ... basically my question is.. has anyone else on here kept their children away from someone in the family or a whole side of the family? I’m nervous that one day he’ll grow up and be curious about his dads side of the family and he’ll find them. Worst fear is having them poison his mind saying awful things about me! Just any help or reassurance would be amazing! Thanks

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GreenTulips Mon 13-Jan-20 18:11:52

Most teens don’t want to see the side who have rejected them, they come to understand what you have done for them and how you’ve supported them and always been there.

After than they are adults.

They may be curious before then.

Have you spoken to police about the hate on Social Media? I think that would be a way forward

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Whynosnowyet Mon 13-Jan-20 18:12:35

My dc don't see my dm. She was a nasty dm and proved to be a similar dgm. Think changing dc's names as she didn't the ones I gave them. Criticising my parenting decisionsnin front of the dc. No regrets whatsoever.
It's your job to protect your dc from toxic people. Just because they are related doesn't mean you need to make exceptions...

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Stressedout10 Sat 25-Jan-20 20:19:28

I have a narcissistic mother and sister and my dad is a racist homophobic misogynistic prick. Due to these facts I am NC with them.
We see my in laws and adult dsc atleast twice a month even though my dh died 7years ago.
My dd met my parents once as a teenager at my grans house (lovely woman) and went nc herself. My ds has no desire to ever meet any of them, he has asked about them from time to time and I was very honest with him in a age appropriate way as and when he asks. My dd (who is bisexual) repeated to him exactly what my father said to her about her "sexually deviant choices " and he says he wants nothing to do with bigots 🙂.

If you raise your ds with love and surround him with good decent role models he will have the tools and skills to see these people for what they are if he ever comes into contact with them.
Also please don't ever feel guilty about being NC with them as you are clearly acting in your sons best interests. For a judge to say what he said is not only rare but very telling and it might be worth letting your son read the judgement for himself (when old enough) should he ask flowers