How much access is right?

[Cantsleep22]

My ex was seeing the children (10 months and 6 years) on the following days/times:

Tues - 5-7
Thurs - 5-7
Sat 2-7

I am due to return to work soon so I will need to wake the kids up 3 mornings at 6am in order to get them to the Childminder’s for 7am. I have told ex that midweek contact will need to stop. They already come back hyperactive and I can’t settle them until 8pm. Eldest really struggles to get up for school now and she doesn’t have to wake until 7.30am. Told him can have them longer on a weekend and he can have them overnight. He’s refused overnight as he claims he has nowhere to live because me and the children are still living in the family home. He is living with his new partner but he hasn’t introduced the children yet. He is using his parents address for correspondence but says he can’t have them there either.

He is saying he has had legal advice and he’s not seeing the children enough. My question is what more can I offer? We go to mediation very soon so need to come to some agreement there

[LoisLittsLover]

Could he have friday eve and sunday day one week and all day sat the following week?

[Cantsleep22]

That’s a fantastic suggestion! I’ll make a note of that for mediation thank you. Do you think that is still enough that I am offering?

[RolytheRhino]

Well, he can press for 50/50 but doesn't sound like he wants that tbh. I think 10 months is probably too young for overnights realistically.

[NameWithChange]

The 'norm' seems to be every other weekend and one night in the week.

I think you deserve some nights off too 😊

[Starlight456]

AS he doesn't want over nights I am sure 50/50 isn't something he needs to think about.

Offer him a whole day on Saturdays.

His times seem to suggest he doesn't want you to go out, have a life.

offer Friday evenings.. My Guess is he will be going out Friday nights and want a lie in Saturday..

Put these offers in writing. 7pm is very late for a 10 month old not to be at least in bedtime routine.

RE getting them up....I would literally throw clothes on them and pop them in the car. I am a cminder children who come to me at 7am have breakfast with me... !5 minutes later can make a difference.