Struggling with the summer hols

[venusmay]

I’m new to Mumsnet,I’ve lurked on a few discussions but feeling like I need some advice.

I have a ds who is 7,he’s very bright and active and we always had a great relationship.His dad walked out on me while I was pregnant and we had been together for 8 years.Its been tough at times but we have made it through, his dad has never contacted me since.

I work full time so arrange most of my leave to cover the summer hols.This year I have struggled to keep him busy.Despite trips out,play dates,a holiday which cost a fortune but which I saved for because he loves it,really everything leaves him saying ‘I’m bored’.Even during dinner time he says he’s bored.

It’s driving me crackers,I have colitis and have flare ups sometimes.Today I have struggled after a flare up during the night,I’ve been exhausted all day.Tried to do jigsaws,drawing etc with ds but his behaviour has been terrible.Constantly bored,playing up, I feel like a rubbish mum.

I have no support network because many of my friends are married and taking hols.My parents are elderly and can’t help and I have no siblings.

I’d be grateful for any advice.I have cried today through sheer exhaustion and frustration with ds,I feel terrible for wishing he’d go back to school.

[PumpkinP]

I feel your pain but I have 4! Ex is absent and no family support. I really don’t enjoy the summer holidays, I’ve seen so many posts of people feeling annoyed when their ex takes their kids during the holidays and I just don’t get it because I wish mine would! Everyone needs a break at some point. I haven’t had one at all it’s relentless. I looked at holiday clubs but they wanted £90 a week which I just can’t afford, the only thing I look forward to is soon they will be older so it will get better (I hope)

[venusmay]

Pumpkin my heart goes out to you, I am barely coping with my one ds let alone 4. You are doing an amazing job 💐

Being a single parent is totally relentless,I also looked at holiday clubs but I’m barely able to pay bills and mortgage and like you find them very expensive.

I hope things improve as the children get older,if mine would just stop saying he’s bored for a while I’d be a lot happier.Drives me nuts!

I know a lot of single parents with lots of family support and it must make life a lot easier. Just to have a day off every now and then. I hope things get better for you 💐

[SnuggyBuggy]

It's not your fault OP. 6 weeks in a row is simply too long for a lot of kids

[Rtmhwales]

I think it's just a stage. Mine isn't that age but I used to nanny for a wealthy millionaire family and their DC all complained of being endlessly bored around that age. This despite the glamorous holidays, the in ground pool, the tennis courts, all the books and games and gaming consoles going. Yet somehow they were bored.

Does he have friends nearby you can invite over for a play date? That's the only thing they ever did that ceased the onslaught of whining about being bored.

[stucknoue]

Nearly at the end now (they go back on Thursday here at least), but for next year see if you local leisure centres have a programme - here it costs £10 a day and is from 10-3, is it possible for you to work shortened hours rather than full days leave? There's a full free programme of events at the library and museum over 8's can attend without a parent (there's a small charge for craft materials sometimes eg the pottery), our local environmental centre had a few full day sessions at £20 this year. Non profit groups such as churches have holiday clubs eg the local areas has 2 full weeks of holiday clubs this year (10-4) at £10 per day, with an option to pay an extra £10 for £8-6 including breakfast (packed lunch required though), the only extra was entry to Drayton Manor.

If is hard work piecing it together but there's stuff out there if you look, might be worth reposting in May or so with your location so people can share specific schemes

[venusmay]

Stucknoue Thank you there are some good ideas there,I need to plan next summer better.I always think that he needs downtime and has so much Lego,toys etc that he will occupy himself.

We do lots of play dates but some days I am too tired so we stop in...that’s usually when the problems start!

Snuggy and Wales thank you for your support.I feel like a shit mum most of the time.I try I really do but I feel like everyone else can manage brilliantly and I’m struggling.

I have single parent friends who just don’t see my problem,they have grandparents who take their dcs for the day or even the weekend sometimes.Its great to have that help but maybe they could try to understand how hard it is without a break.

💐 to those coping.one week to go til school starts!

[PollyPelargonium52]

I know when ds was younger I just relied a lot on my childminder.

I also discovered a very inexepensive holiday club through the local leisure centre. I know we have passed summer now but see if anything exists for the half term.

[Trooperslaneagain]

We've been back a few weeks (Scotland) and DD did 2 relatively (!) inexpensive holiday clubs, but she's so much happier and settled in the back to school routine. Only P2 so still getting used to it.