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Am I being unreasonable?

(10 Posts)
kerry2019 Wed 24-Jul-19 20:43:37

My son is 5 and has little contact with his dad (this is his dads choice). His dad said he would call once a week. Originally this was every Monday and was going fine then his dad asked if we could change the day to Sunday. This was also fine. Since the day change his dad always forgets to call. I have now said that if he wants to call to message me an hour before and if we’re home then he can call and speak to him. I think this is better for both of us and we are not tied to to a day and it means he can more or less call whenever he wants. Dad is saying I’m being stupid and unreasonable.. do you agree?

OP’s posts: |
Ginger1982 Wed 24-Jul-19 20:47:58

So do you have to wait in all day in anticipation of him calling?

kerry2019 Wed 24-Jul-19 20:51:18

We haven’t been waiting in as he usually calls in the evening when we’re home anyway

OP’s posts: |
Flora82 Wed 24-Jul-19 21:17:41

Once a week??!! That’s awful and why would he not want to speak to his son daily??!! Absolutely disgusting he wants a set day!!! How on earth do you bit your tongue!!

Starlight456 Wed 24-Jul-19 22:48:33

What other contact does he have ?

kerry2019 Wed 24-Jul-19 23:37:22

He sees him every 3 months ish if that

OP’s posts: |
lilmishap Thu 25-Jul-19 00:07:13

Whats his actual issue with the message beforehand? He can't expect any special arrangements for a phone call if he can't be bothered to make the call

If you're in he can speak to him if not he can't and can try again later or on another day, why is this being made into an issue by him?

lilmishap Thu 25-Jul-19 00:12:00

Seriously why does he need a 'day' to make a call, why did he need to change the 'day' it's a poxy phone call not a visit.

Why do you need an hours notice? Do not schedule the phone call into your week, if it happens it happens if not, then it doesn't.

YANBU he's expecting attention he has no reason to be getting. It's a phone call, he can do it while on the crapper

Parent999 Thu 25-Jul-19 06:44:13

My partner and I have had this problem with my step son and his dad. My partner told him to just call whenever he wants and it all went away. He'll be lucky to get a call a month now and the dad has usually had a few beers when he calls. My point is its a non issue now, if my partner had set times with the dad he would almost certainly start being belligerent about it.

He sounds pretty useless. That said, I'm not a fan of any stipulation that prevents open communication between a parent and child - whether that's limiting it to a set day, or requiring notice of a phone call.

So, I'd also suggest removing any restrictions, and saying he is free to call whenever. A positive relationship witb hisfsther would be good for your son, so of he takes up the offer amd calls more, that is to your son's benefit.

Unfortunately it sounds like he probably won't. Bu, in that case, tou've removed a source of unnecessary tension between you and your ex. So, that's a win, too.

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