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Quick I need a summer holiday plan before court tomorrow!

(15 Posts)
Hullabalooo Thu 27-Jun-19 17:57:48

I'm in court tomorrow (action brought by EA ex to increase time to cease paying maintenance) for a final hearing and a friend who went through this ages ago just pointed out that the current summer holidays plan won't work in the future as it'll mean loads of organising and discussion each year about who has when.

Her suggestion is to just set holidays so there are split time i.e. parent A has DC from first day or summer holidays for x weeks and then Parent B has DC for x weeks etc.

She also said best to suspend school routine childcare as too many handovers and too stressful, for me anyway, as we don't talk and I find dealing with ex incredibly upsetting. But also to find something that's good and supportive for DC into the future.

I'm in court at 9am. Find me a workable plan by then... please!!!!

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eve34 Thu 27-Jun-19 18:01:11

Is it 50/50 childcare

If so straight forward 3 weeks split. Although that is a long time with children are young.

Otherwise offer him two weeks of his choice to be confirmed annual by may half term.

Hullabalooo Thu 27-Jun-19 18:11:17

Its not 50:50 care.

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Hullabalooo Thu 27-Jun-19 18:13:33

Does anyone have a completely different schedule in the holidays from term time?

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Bellie99 Thu 27-Jun-19 18:16:29

Hi. We have the same plan for holidays as term time. E.g. one night a week and every other weekend. It's just that pick up happens from my house rather than school during holidays.

We have a set number of weeks - 6 that exh has as agreed but in all honesty as the children have grown older this is more flexible.

This was at his request though so may not be right for your situation.

whiskeysourpuss Thu 27-Jun-19 18:21:11

We have set weeks during the holidays with flexibility if either of us can't get the time of work - I couldn't take 3 full weeks off during summer & neither can DS's dad.

DS's stepmum is currently on maternity leave though so she's covering the childcare when both of us are at work.

But generally we have 2 full weeks each & the other weeks are regular schedule with DS attending after school clubs holiday club or grandparents if both parents & stepmum are working.

marcopront Thu 27-Jun-19 18:27:27

What is the term time schedule?

happyasasandboy Thu 27-Jun-19 18:46:15

The split will depend on how much time you want for each parent, but one piece of advice is to start week-long periods on the first day of the summer holidays if you're splitting whole weeks. Starting on the first Monday of the holiday leaves one if you with half a week at the beginning/half a week at the end, which is hard for holidays.

Hullabalooo Thu 27-Jun-19 19:58:11

Thank you @happyasasandboy that's good advice

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Hullabalooo Thu 27-Jun-19 19:58:58

Term time schedule is onw and eow with ex. Rest with me.

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Parent999 Thu 27-Jun-19 21:00:02

my court order is half holidays. First year is weeks one, three and six with me.
Next year onwards its weeks one, four and five with me.
It also says exact dates to be agreed in writing 30 days before. We have decided swap over is Sunday mornings.

Half terms and summer dont seem to be a problem they are one week blocks, but the ex has created merry hell over the Xmas and Easter holidays

I wouldnt worry too much, the judges make very general orders such as "half holidays" its then up to the barristers/solicitors/litigants to word the details of the order before its sealed by the judge.

Hullabalooo Thu 27-Jun-19 21:07:20

That's helpful although are you ok with that and are your dc too?

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Parent999 Thu 27-Jun-19 21:25:10

Of course not, Id like child all the time, as would ex so we just have to live with it.
Child is fine with it, we split when she was one, she is 5 now and hasnt known any different.
Ex hates it but thats for her own needs

peaceand Fri 28-Jun-19 12:09:24

How's it going? Sending positive vibes

Hullabalooo Wed 03-Jul-19 21:15:49

Thank you. It was an epic day with six hours in court. Exhausting. Despite lots of tooing and froing and in spite of the fact that my barrister thought it would probably go to shared care, the magistrates believed me helped by ex continuously changing his mind, and agreed to maintain the same arrangement as before.. I'm over the moon! Feel like we have a life again.

Cheers for your help everyone!

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