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Holiday court advice

(8 Posts)
SiempreDot Sat 27-Apr-19 21:05:46

Ex and I have had a court order in place for DS who is 2 since January 2019.

The court order states that ex can have 14 additional nights for holiday this year but no more than 4 to be taken consecutively.

This means that ex can use his Saturday / Sunday weekend days plus Friday and Monday to make a four day holiday which only uses 2 holiday days. Essentially, doing it this way, he can have 7 4 day holidays in the year.

He wants to take him every other week from May til August on a four day holiday. I've said I don't think this is suitable. He will be starting a local authority infants nursery school in September and they have been clear that although it's not statutory at this age, they would give the place away to another child if there are absences for anything other than illness. It's highly oversubscribed, and a poor attendance record would also jeopardise his place for reception class.

I offered ex October which he refused, I offered Christmas in the holidays which he also refused. The only way to meet this holiday requirement is by having a four day holiday every other week for three months. Currently, he's never spent more than a night away from me. He's not yet potty trained. His overnight contact with his father won't increase until September this year.

I have now received a rather worrying letter from his solicitor asking me to suggest days for holidays as there is a still a 7 day shortfall from what we have agreed. They are threatening court and making me pay for their costs.

I know I'm obliged to make him available for 14 nights but it's incredibly difficult to accommodate without circumventing the court order and doing something which I don't think is in DS interests.

I'm sure it will go to court if ex doesn't get 14 nights exactly. I really believe I'm not being unduly reasonable and have agreed to some. I can explain that in court but I don't know whether I would look like some kind of restrictive needy parent or whether I would be seen as being practical and doing what is in DS best interest, and accepting that life doesn't always fit in with court orders. I really can't afford to pay his court costs and I don't particularly want to put my son in a position where he's taken away for more nights than he can cope to sit in a field in wales so his father can feel he has his legal entitlement.

Any advice helpful. Thanks

OP’s posts: |

I recall you posting on this several times before. Not sure you've ever answered the question of why your ex had to take you to court in order to secure access to his child?

From your several posts, you do seem hell bent on making it as difficult as possible for your child to spend time with his dad.

The request from your ex's solicitor is very reasonable. Suggest some dates. Negotiate. You will have to give some ground somewhere. You are equal parents - you don't get to dictate everything.

If your ex does have to go to court to secure the days that the existing court order says he should have, that will not reflect well on you.

ThisMustBeMyDream Sun 28-Apr-19 01:00:08

Just to be clear. He is 2. He starts nursery in September. Dad wants to have 4 days every other from next month until August? If this is the case, how on earth is that going to cause an issue when he isn't at nursery until after the dates dad wants?

As a side note, attendance in nursery has absolutely nothing to do with his reception place.

keepyerbrowson Sun 28-Apr-19 01:00:42

What has the every other weekend from May til August got to do with the September Nursery start?

keepyerbrowson Sun 28-Apr-19 01:06:04

His overnight contact with his father won't increase until September this year.

I'm really confused confused

ThisMustBeMyDream Sun 28-Apr-19 01:16:13

Your previous post say his overnights will be increased in June.
Potty training isn't relevant. Unsure why you would mention it.

SD1978 Sun 28-Apr-19 01:41:13

You're not very clear with your post. Have you so far refused overnight stays, and now the court is ordering them? Is dad trying to maximise his time with the child, because previously hasn't been allowed access? If you dont allow, you will be in breach of the orders. Dad obviously would rather have time with his child than 'event' days, stipulated by you. It does sound as if you're being unreasonable. If dad is close by, nursery is inconsequential- you are both able to take him. Be careful you are not suddenly viewed as, and are acting obstructively juts because you have made all the decision up until now.

3xcookedchips Mon 29-Apr-19 09:54:15

WHat the court is trying to acheive is a graduated schedule to get your son used to spending more time with his father with a view to eventually spending 7 days/nights for holidays. Because your sone has never been away from you for more than one night is not a bar. If the order doesnt specifically preclude taking Friday and Monday as holiday then you cant really object. Afterall from what you say the order says up to a maximum of 4 nights - maybe ask him to do 3 nights for the first 2 weeks he chooses and then 4.

It actually makes sense he does it this way maybe becuase for him to take 4 consecutive days he could take them mid week and then your son would end up being shuttled between the two of youthrought the week/weekend unneceesaily so...

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