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Does anybody live with their Ex?(6 Posts)
Hi, I hope this will make sense.
I moved out of Ex house approx 18months ago by my own choice as we were not getting on at all and I was sick of the arguing and he had all the financial control, being on £70k a year I wasn't entitled to anything even Child benefit, meaning anything I wanted to buy, I had to ask for from him. This caused huge problems and destroyed the relationship. We have 2 DC together and I have two DC from a previous relationship but they have no contact with their bio dad so he is basically dad to all 4.
Anyway, I've had to move twice since splitting with him, various reasons beyond my control. 2 of the DC have SEN, but one in particular is extremely difficult and requires constant care.
I am having to leave this house again in the next few months as landlord has lost the house due to financial troubles.
I don't think I can cope with all this moving around and the kids are so stressed with it all.
And I'm really struggling with the disabled child. He is too heavy for me to lift, too strong for me to restrain, and the lack of permanent housing means I can't ever get the adaptions he needs. Ex is strong and great with the kids. So it would massively help us all to have him around more.
Ex owns his house. Has perfect set up for all the kids. Lives next door to the school.
He has offered for us to all move back in when I have to leave here. And to live together but as single people. We would have enough bedrooms and he works nights anyway. I would have to share a room with DS but I'm currently sleeping in the living room here so not worse off. He would have the box room.
But not sure how this all works. I can't handle not having any money of my own, was hard enough when we were together. He won't be charging us rent so we wouldn't need housing money. But I would be needing to buy my own food etc which if I have lost all benefits I wouldn't be able to do? If it all worked out I may even be able to go back to work which I'm desperate to do but can't at the moment.
Does anybody know if I could still claim child benefit and tax credits etc? I assume not but then I remember just before I moved out CAB said I could claim them before I moved out, I just needed to explain that we had split but I hadn't found housing yet.
But not sure how they wouldn't just think we are together?
I will go back to CAB at some point but just wanted to see if anybody else is in a similar situation?
My friend certainly claimed tax credits (this was pre uc) when she separated from her h despite still living in the same house. Disability benefits aren't means tested. Call the uc helpline for advice. You won't qualify for the housing element
Do you claim dla for your child with disabilities? Then you can get caters allowance.
If you are genuine single then you can claim as a single person. Are you on the housing list with the council? Are there any professionals involved who can add weight to your situation?
It does sound like a tough situation... but I can’t understand wanting to live with your ex (and enjoy all the help/ support of living with him) but also feeling entitled to claim as a single person too?! Surely you should go back to work.
But how can she go back to work if caring for a disabled child?
Hope you get it sorted op
Trust me I won't enjoy living with him. But it feels like my options are very much limited. My child is literally physically hurting me and his siblings several times a day.
He may have to rent a room or something for himself nearby, if we don't get on enough to be under the same roof, but we would be attempting to try it.
I didn't say I feel entitled to claim benefits, that's what I'm saying. I don't feel entitled to it at all and would feel bad claiming, but also can't expect him to literally pay for everything.
I do claim DLA and carers. So I would have that either way, although I only receive the care side as the mobility side is used for motability car for him.
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