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CMS - Can it be paid when still in a relationship with the father?

(9 Posts)
weekendninja Wed 20-Mar-19 11:50:17

I have 2 DC's with my ex. He has now moved on and has a baby with his new partner but they don't live together.

We had an informal arrangement for the maintainence for our two children. He's now reduced this as he has another child to take care of - I get this.

I called Child Maintenance Options today and they said that his partner is entitled to CM for their shared DC as the don't live together...i was under the impression that as they are in a relationship they would just work this out themselves.

At present they are living apart because if they move in together the mother will loose her benfits as a single mother.

If this is the case, CM is split 3 ways for 3 kids and reduces my entitlement amount considerably.

Does anyone know if this is correct and can anyone convince me that this is fair?! I thought child maintenance was for separated/divorced parents, not those still in a relationship.

OP’s posts: |
redannie118 Wed 20-Mar-19 11:54:31

I used to work for CMS and yes it is correct. It doesnt matter that they are in a relationship, they live apart so he is not contributing to rent, utilities etc.

weekendninja Wed 20-Mar-19 11:59:02

Thank you for your quick response.

It's was just over the website it is all about separated parents and not those still together.

It seems like it's something I'm going to have to accept and deal with differently if they ever move in together.

OP’s posts: |
Usermynamenow Wed 20-Mar-19 12:07:19

The CMS just gets worse and worse! I’m with you OP. It doesn’t seem right at all.
From the government website it states


Child maintenance is financial support towards your child’s everyday living costs when you’ve separated from the other parent.

You and your ex-partner can arrange child maintenance yourself if you can agree. This is called a ‘family-based arrangement’.”

Key word there being “separated”. I would challenge the CMS on this. I know that your maintenance will be reduced because your ex now has a child with someone else. You should be able to run the numbers through the CMS’ calculator.

It is a horrendous system.

weekendninja Wed 20-Mar-19 12:17:38

User it seems the system needs a huge overhaul. I'm all up for fairness but this doesn't sit right with me. My ex is paying maintenance to his other DC on top of the stuff that he is doing day-to-day. In addition to this if you're in a relationship you can sit and have a chat about money surely!

Meanwhile my DC'S get less by a considerable amount with a DM working full time trying keep a roof over their heads and with a DF that will not pay a penny more for anything...including their clothing when they are at his. I can't think too much about this because it's raising my blood pressure.

OP’s posts: |
Bobbycat121 Wed 20-Mar-19 13:37:42

Yes its true. My sisters ex got his new
partner to do this so that my sister got less maintenance hmm she then gave the maintenance she got back to him confused

weekendninja Wed 20-Mar-19 16:04:38

I would imagine thats happening a lot Bobbycat.

The more I think about it, the more rediculous it sounds. Surely the conversation of; "Honey, I'm making a claim for CM from you. Oh, and what would you like for tea tonight?" never happens.

This isn't good for relations between parents when there has been a split. It'll just create animosity because one parent knows they are getting screwed over.

OP’s posts: |
Bobbycat121 Wed 20-Mar-19 18:09:13

sadly some and lets face it its mostly men will do whatever they can to get out of paying maintenance.

L1989 Wed 20-Mar-19 18:15:02

@Bobbycat121 yep! I get nothing from my eldest daughters dad

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