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Help really struggling with my EX.(2 Posts)
Hi any advice will be really help full.
Bit of background on us, me and my ex have been separated for about 5 years now, main reason we're not together is that he's got a horrible temper he does not hit me although he has once in the past which I put a stop to and left him for, hes fine one minute and next minute he's hitting the roof, calling me names, belittling me and so on. He lives with his parents, his mom is lovely although his dad can be a little hard work at times but that's through medical reason and is still a nice guy. He constantly shouts and talks horrible to them, I stay quite as much as possible as it's not my place. They only time I have only intercepted is when he took a swing at his dad with the child next to him. The child goes up at weekends but does not stay over night for a couple of reasons for one there's not enough room, and two I don't fully trust his dad as of his temper and his drinking. I take him up during the week a few times so that he can spend more time with him however he's either up stairs on his games, mobile or goes to the pub. For the past couple of months he has been getting harder to deal with mainly aiming things at me which generally I can deal with, things like I'm selfish, a to z in swear words, I only got pregnant because my sister did (which I didn't), I need to get a job and stop sponging of the government, (I work part time at weekends and the rest of the time I'm taking care of my 81year old grandfather), I'm a horrible person because I didn't give our son his last name,. They are just a few it would be far to long to list them all, then a week a go we poped up because the child wanted to see him and his mama, he blew up at everyone because the child woke him up to say hello to him, but then started on the child calling him names and saying how he didn't want to see him so obviously the child got upset so I talked to the child about it and a few day later he was better and wanted to go back up there so he did and his father was fine until tonight starting on me again with all the name calling but he was scaring the child as he was hugging back of the chair and then he flew over to me upset later when we was going home I was asking him about it being very careful not to put words into his mouth, for example are you OK and how do you feel, he said that he was scared and was hugging the chair to defend himself. I wanted to cry, I explained I would never let it get so far that he had to defend himself. The reason I go up is because the child wants me to and I want to give him what ever I can even if it means acting nice around his dad. His mum keep saying that she's had enough of him and has threatened a million times that if he carry on that she will kick him out, obviously she hasn't done however I can't blame her at the end of the day he is still her son.
Basically my question or advice I really want to know what other people think I should be doing as this is getting out of hand and I just don't know what the right move is anymore. I don't want my son scared of him, or to be upset because of his actions. I don't want to stop him seeing him but the way he's going somethings going to have to give.
Sorry its such a long post, I've tried to keep it short as possible by only put the main points in.
I would stop contact . Offer him a contact centre. This is abusive behaviour and damaging your child already .
How old is your child.
Sometimes as a parent we have to decide what is best for them. This does not sound in his best interests
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